Thursday, September 30, 2004
a few end of the season comments:
-odalis perez made his 31st start last nite, lowering his era to 3.25. yet he has only 13 decisions (7-6). is that not horribly demoralizing?
-it's time to let the cat out of the bag: mark loretta is having an unbelievable season. his OPS (.899) is the same as a-rod's (shocking, eh?) and he plays in a much harder hitter's park. his OBP & SLG are both higher than those of brian giles. only one middle infielder in the majors is having a better offensive year (carlos guillen and his .921). loretta has been one of my favorites since the late '90s and im glad he's staying under the radar. but he sure as hell better win the silver slugger award for 2b. if it goes to kent or soriano im going to yack.
-is the bobby higginson era (.395 slugging!! for roughly $9 mil/year) finally over in tiger town? honestly, it's time for them to move on. they should just waive him and get it over with. detroit has a number of guys who played well in AAA and will make $300k and like it. while they're at it, it may be time to cut loose of eric munson. both he and pena are 26, but while pena has been steadily improving each of the past 3 years, eric has been struggling to keep his OBP north of .300. detroit is really getting munsoned by keeping him in the lineup.
-further proof that the mets are the most pathetic organization: 32 year old wilson delgado is playing almost everyday for them right now. i guess they don't bother playing the young guys and getting them experience because they'll just trade em for garbage like walk-a-thon victor zambrano (who still leads the al in bb's even though he's been in the nl for over a month).
-some 1b questions: (1) where will raffy wind up next year? my guess is, um, i have no idea. i just pray he doesn't end his career someplace like kc or pittsburgh. (2) will giambi make the post-season roster? i'd say yes, even though he looks like shit rite now. (3) will klesko bounce back, or continue to decline? while his power numbers were (way) down, he still reached base just shy of a .400 clip. i'm going with "bounce back".
-odalis perez made his 31st start last nite, lowering his era to 3.25. yet he has only 13 decisions (7-6). is that not horribly demoralizing?
-it's time to let the cat out of the bag: mark loretta is having an unbelievable season. his OPS (.899) is the same as a-rod's (shocking, eh?) and he plays in a much harder hitter's park. his OBP & SLG are both higher than those of brian giles. only one middle infielder in the majors is having a better offensive year (carlos guillen and his .921). loretta has been one of my favorites since the late '90s and im glad he's staying under the radar. but he sure as hell better win the silver slugger award for 2b. if it goes to kent or soriano im going to yack.
-is the bobby higginson era (.395 slugging!! for roughly $9 mil/year) finally over in tiger town? honestly, it's time for them to move on. they should just waive him and get it over with. detroit has a number of guys who played well in AAA and will make $300k and like it. while they're at it, it may be time to cut loose of eric munson. both he and pena are 26, but while pena has been steadily improving each of the past 3 years, eric has been struggling to keep his OBP north of .300. detroit is really getting munsoned by keeping him in the lineup.
-further proof that the mets are the most pathetic organization: 32 year old wilson delgado is playing almost everyday for them right now. i guess they don't bother playing the young guys and getting them experience because they'll just trade em for garbage like walk-a-thon victor zambrano (who still leads the al in bb's even though he's been in the nl for over a month).
-some 1b questions: (1) where will raffy wind up next year? my guess is, um, i have no idea. i just pray he doesn't end his career someplace like kc or pittsburgh. (2) will giambi make the post-season roster? i'd say yes, even though he looks like shit rite now. (3) will klesko bounce back, or continue to decline? while his power numbers were (way) down, he still reached base just shy of a .400 clip. i'm going with "bounce back".
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
we got a bunch of cd's this weekend. now i'm gonna talk about em.
garden state soundtrack. just like the movie, this cd rules. does anyone know anything about a band called thievery corporation? they seem pretty rad (their one song here is "lebanese blond"). as i was looking at the back of the cd case, i noticed that method man got third billing, after zach braff and ian holm. weird, no? what i wanna know is how the fuck braff became friends with method man. what i do know is that playing a mean game of asshole with braff, method man, and kevin millar would be really fun. also, scrubs is probably the best tv show that no one watches.
green day, "american idiot". i bought this pretty much out of allegiance, not so much out of thinking it would be good. clearly inferior to "dookie" and "kerplunk". it's got some songs with politcal agendas, so that's always weird. i don't want my punk bands writing songs about george bush, i'll tell you that much. just give me something cool to ride my board to. is that too much to ask?
the von bondies, "pawn shoppe heart". our friend kyle gave me this because i was raving about the theme song from "rescue me". that song rules, but the jury is still out on the rest of the cd. they definitely have a unique style (they lean a little towards punk and sound a little like the white stripes), and i do like how they mix guy/girl vocals throughout. if i had to make a snap judgement, i'd say i like em. and that jaw might like em. but the lemmer probably wouldn't. whatever the fuck that means.
yeah, so just call me the music man. or the thin man. or thin mint. whatever.
garden state soundtrack. just like the movie, this cd rules. does anyone know anything about a band called thievery corporation? they seem pretty rad (their one song here is "lebanese blond"). as i was looking at the back of the cd case, i noticed that method man got third billing, after zach braff and ian holm. weird, no? what i wanna know is how the fuck braff became friends with method man. what i do know is that playing a mean game of asshole with braff, method man, and kevin millar would be really fun. also, scrubs is probably the best tv show that no one watches.
green day, "american idiot". i bought this pretty much out of allegiance, not so much out of thinking it would be good. clearly inferior to "dookie" and "kerplunk". it's got some songs with politcal agendas, so that's always weird. i don't want my punk bands writing songs about george bush, i'll tell you that much. just give me something cool to ride my board to. is that too much to ask?
the von bondies, "pawn shoppe heart". our friend kyle gave me this because i was raving about the theme song from "rescue me". that song rules, but the jury is still out on the rest of the cd. they definitely have a unique style (they lean a little towards punk and sound a little like the white stripes), and i do like how they mix guy/girl vocals throughout. if i had to make a snap judgement, i'd say i like em. and that jaw might like em. but the lemmer probably wouldn't. whatever the fuck that means.
yeah, so just call me the music man. or the thin man. or thin mint. whatever.
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
so the teachers in kentucky are on strike. their health care coverage is horrible, and they've decided enough is enough. the governor has decided to cut costs, saying the state can't afford the current insurance plan. my favorite part of this is how he couldn't be reached for comment because he "was on a weeklong economic development trip to Europe." because obviously to fix the economics of your backcountry state, you should go to another continent! honestly how do things like this happen? you don't have money to pay teachers health care, but using tax dollars for a jaunt to france is dandy. i guess the demand for moonshine over there is greater than we all thought.
anyway, i've never really understood why this doesn't happen more often (the strike, not the gov'nah vacationing in paris). there is such a low supply of teachers that they should pretty much be able to demand whatever they want. parents will not stand for having schools closed and classes cancelled. the streets would be rampant with unsupervised children. what would parents do without their free 8 hour babysitters? it would be chaos.
unfortunately, im sure the teachers will come away (in the press) looking like selfish bastards. parents will scream things like "you're denying my child the right to learn!" at the picketing teachers, who will cave in to the guilt after negotiating a marginally better plan (but one that still sucks). i don't have a point here. except that it's the teachers own fault if they don't get a deal they're happy with. i just don't see how they're not in the driver's seat here.
anyway, i've never really understood why this doesn't happen more often (the strike, not the gov'nah vacationing in paris). there is such a low supply of teachers that they should pretty much be able to demand whatever they want. parents will not stand for having schools closed and classes cancelled. the streets would be rampant with unsupervised children. what would parents do without their free 8 hour babysitters? it would be chaos.
unfortunately, im sure the teachers will come away (in the press) looking like selfish bastards. parents will scream things like "you're denying my child the right to learn!" at the picketing teachers, who will cave in to the guilt after negotiating a marginally better plan (but one that still sucks). i don't have a point here. except that it's the teachers own fault if they don't get a deal they're happy with. i just don't see how they're not in the driver's seat here.
i'd like to send a big thank you out to whoever made this season's mlb schedule. thanks to that anonymous scheduler, we get to have a week's worth of super-drama before the playoffs even begin:
the al wild card is wrapped up. but out in the al west, the a's stand 1 game up on the angels, and 3 games up on texas. the angels and texas are in the midst of a 4 game series, then the a's play the angels in the final weekend of the season.
over in the nl west, la stands 3 games up on the san fran and 5 games up on san diego (who are 1 and 3 games out of the wild card respectively). the dads and the giants are playing a 4 game set, and then the giants play the dodgers in the final weekend of the season. oddly, the cubs play the braves over the weekend, and the stros play the rockies. but i suppose we can forgive the almighty schedulers for this gaffe. they still did a good job setting up the last week.
unfortunately, i know the tv gods will wind up airing 13 meaningless college football games on saturday (boise vs. valpraiso? yes!) and at least 12 hours of NFL live, NFL today, NFL game day, and whatever other pre- and post-game extravaganzas they have set up for sunday (interviews with the practice team offensive lineman? yes!). but i, for one, am holding out hope that we will get to see some of the awesome penant races come to a close.
next season i may just have to sack up and get "MLB ticket" on digital cable...
the al wild card is wrapped up. but out in the al west, the a's stand 1 game up on the angels, and 3 games up on texas. the angels and texas are in the midst of a 4 game series, then the a's play the angels in the final weekend of the season.
over in the nl west, la stands 3 games up on the san fran and 5 games up on san diego (who are 1 and 3 games out of the wild card respectively). the dads and the giants are playing a 4 game set, and then the giants play the dodgers in the final weekend of the season. oddly, the cubs play the braves over the weekend, and the stros play the rockies. but i suppose we can forgive the almighty schedulers for this gaffe. they still did a good job setting up the last week.
unfortunately, i know the tv gods will wind up airing 13 meaningless college football games on saturday (boise vs. valpraiso? yes!) and at least 12 hours of NFL live, NFL today, NFL game day, and whatever other pre- and post-game extravaganzas they have set up for sunday (interviews with the practice team offensive lineman? yes!). but i, for one, am holding out hope that we will get to see some of the awesome penant races come to a close.
next season i may just have to sack up and get "MLB ticket" on digital cable...
Monday, September 27, 2004
a few sports notes from the weekend:
(1) tell me marc bulger doesn't look like some 8 year old who put on his (much) older brothers pads and helmet. i dare you.
(2) given that pro athletes can get away with just about anything on/off the field, you must be a pretty big dickhead to get suspended from your playoff-chasing team in the midst of personally having a career year. jose guillen, i'm talking to you.
(3) kevin brown: can you do me a favor and fix your release point? jesus christ, man. throw a pitch at the knees one time.
(4) the sox picked up pedro astacio?! if you're a sox fan, this can't be pleasing. although they did bring him in yesterday just to throw behind kenny lofton. not at him. behind him. what's worse is that his fastball was in the 84-86 mph range. meaning (a) this wouldn't hurt unless it hit you square in the face, and (b) he should not be pitching anywhere above high A. but hey, you never know with grady francona. astacio will probably make the postseason roster. and then be the losing pitcher of game 4 against the twins, eliminating the sox from the postseason.
(5) the other pedro (the one with the michael jackson from thriller hair) said in an interview after friday's game that the yankees were his daddies. strange thing to say at this time of year. or ever.
(1) tell me marc bulger doesn't look like some 8 year old who put on his (much) older brothers pads and helmet. i dare you.
(2) given that pro athletes can get away with just about anything on/off the field, you must be a pretty big dickhead to get suspended from your playoff-chasing team in the midst of personally having a career year. jose guillen, i'm talking to you.
(3) kevin brown: can you do me a favor and fix your release point? jesus christ, man. throw a pitch at the knees one time.
(4) the sox picked up pedro astacio?! if you're a sox fan, this can't be pleasing. although they did bring him in yesterday just to throw behind kenny lofton. not at him. behind him. what's worse is that his fastball was in the 84-86 mph range. meaning (a) this wouldn't hurt unless it hit you square in the face, and (b) he should not be pitching anywhere above high A. but hey, you never know with grady francona. astacio will probably make the postseason roster. and then be the losing pitcher of game 4 against the twins, eliminating the sox from the postseason.
(5) the other pedro (the one with the michael jackson from thriller hair) said in an interview after friday's game that the yankees were his daddies. strange thing to say at this time of year. or ever.
Friday, September 24, 2004
i believe "eww - her hair - it looks like she wipes her ass with it" to be a great insult. i cannot take credit, but shall keep the creator anonymous. for now.
two things i'm sick of seeing/hearing on espn:
(1) sean salisbury use of the words "patience" or "vision" when describing some running back. these are obviously the new buzzwords this year, and i'm sick of em after week 2.
(2) those friggin "hustle" spots. seriously, i've seen them so many times, i'm starting to forget what pete rose actually looks like. and they're competing with the john basedow ads for most over-shown commercials of dudes with horrific hair. i beg you, no mas!
(1) sean salisbury use of the words "patience" or "vision" when describing some running back. these are obviously the new buzzwords this year, and i'm sick of em after week 2.
(2) those friggin "hustle" spots. seriously, i've seen them so many times, i'm starting to forget what pete rose actually looks like. and they're competing with the john basedow ads for most over-shown commercials of dudes with horrific hair. i beg you, no mas!
Thursday, September 23, 2004
something that is not getting the attention that it deserves is the race between the twins and a's. whoever "wins" this race will play the sox, and whoever loses plays the yanks. as a yankee fan, im pulling hard (no, not like that. well maybe a little) for the twins to beat out the a's (they're 1/2 game behind them) for a few reasons:
(1) no one wants to face sandy koufax, i mean johan santana, twice in a 5 game set. no one.
(2) the twins are playing much better than the a's right now. sure, there may be a letdown after clinching, but i doubt it. more importantly, the a's staff is looking shaky and unlike the twins, they have no little ball skills (which scare the bejesus out of me after last year's world series). can crosby, dye, kotsay drop a bunt down if he needs to? maybe, maybe not. can rivas, guzman, stewart, ford, etc? hell yes.
(3) even though it sucks to have to fly across the country to play at the colesium, it's better than playing in the twinkie dome. that field plays to the strengths of the twins marvelously.
now over in the NL, the giants are surging for the title in the west. i could easily see san fran taking over first, the cubs taking the wild card, and the dodgers & astros (after blowing their chances this week - seriously, roy oswalt: you don't deserve to go to the playoffs if you can't beat noah lowry in the most important start of your career) going home early. this would make me happy for a few reasons:
(1) bonds in the postseason is just awesome.
(2) the dodgers are fucking boring. i hate watching them. i feel bad for steve finley, because he must have to try anything to start a conversation with shawn green while standing around the outfield:
SF: hey man, good ab last inning.
SG: ...
SF: you see that hot blonde in section 4?
SG: ...
SF: milton bradley. funny name, don't you think?
SG: ...
SF: so why did your boy delgado turn down the trade to come play here? we could use him -
SG: ...
SF: - because you're a shell of your former self and all.
SG: ...
SF: i waived you for jayson werth on my fantasy team.
SG: ...
(3) the cubs in the postseason? a chance for all those in wrigley-ville to come so close again (and not win)? an opportunity for steve bartman to get the 15,000 lb monkey off his back? drunk fans throwing batteries at chipper jones? oh yeah, count me in.
(1) no one wants to face sandy koufax, i mean johan santana, twice in a 5 game set. no one.
(2) the twins are playing much better than the a's right now. sure, there may be a letdown after clinching, but i doubt it. more importantly, the a's staff is looking shaky and unlike the twins, they have no little ball skills (which scare the bejesus out of me after last year's world series). can crosby, dye, kotsay drop a bunt down if he needs to? maybe, maybe not. can rivas, guzman, stewart, ford, etc? hell yes.
(3) even though it sucks to have to fly across the country to play at the colesium, it's better than playing in the twinkie dome. that field plays to the strengths of the twins marvelously.
now over in the NL, the giants are surging for the title in the west. i could easily see san fran taking over first, the cubs taking the wild card, and the dodgers & astros (after blowing their chances this week - seriously, roy oswalt: you don't deserve to go to the playoffs if you can't beat noah lowry in the most important start of your career) going home early. this would make me happy for a few reasons:
(1) bonds in the postseason is just awesome.
(2) the dodgers are fucking boring. i hate watching them. i feel bad for steve finley, because he must have to try anything to start a conversation with shawn green while standing around the outfield:
SF: hey man, good ab last inning.
SG: ...
SF: you see that hot blonde in section 4?
SG: ...
SF: milton bradley. funny name, don't you think?
SG: ...
SF: so why did your boy delgado turn down the trade to come play here? we could use him -
SG: ...
SF: - because you're a shell of your former self and all.
SG: ...
SF: i waived you for jayson werth on my fantasy team.
SG: ...
(3) the cubs in the postseason? a chance for all those in wrigley-ville to come so close again (and not win)? an opportunity for steve bartman to get the 15,000 lb monkey off his back? drunk fans throwing batteries at chipper jones? oh yeah, count me in.
apparently this week at work is the x5th anniversary of my company's founding. i know this because there was an announcement on monday and we got krispy kremes. with all that donut in my mouth i couldn't really point out that since all the founders are retired, this is ridiculous. but i'll celebrate anything from the International Day of Peace (9/20) to Armenian Independence Day (9/21) to festivus (sometime late december) if it'll get me a donut. there was a sign that said "1 donut per employee!!!" next to the boxes. the extra exclamation points scared me out of taking two. nothing like the man keepin' you down.
then on tuesday, we all got a bottle of water with a company label on it. i may or may not have asked if i could trade my bottle of water for an hour of leave. after a few swigs of this luke-warm water (i don't know whose person these bottles of water were on before they gave em out, and i don't want to), someone pointed out that the company labels were just cleverly covering the water's original label. those management bastards! they were trying to fool us! now i know why kerry is always clamoring about "us" vs. "them"! it was all a clever ruse - this water wasn't specially ordered or developed at some lab to increase metabolism or muscle growth! it was just plain old H20. i bet those assholes even tried to figure out a way to lose one of the H's. that would be just like management, offering us HO in corporate bottles. no doubt monday's donuts were just a mixture of flour, sugar substitue, and cotton. fuck!
naturally i started tearing off the company label to see what brand of water "they" bought. i couldn't stand to be duped like this! but before i knew it, i was covered from elbow to fingertip in blue, like i had just delivered a blue alien baby*! yup, the labels were wet or colored with chalk or made with fresh boysenberries. those wily managers - "they" were gonna thwart "our" attempt to gain some knowledge. bastards!
so yesterday when a woman came around offering plastic company cups, i was ready for something. anything. she asked what color i wanted, but i saw through "their" thin veiled attempt to psycho-analyze me. so i grabbed the first one in the pile and shooed her out the door. "but don't you want this raffle ticket for tomorrow?", she asked as i shoved her out. "if it comes from "them", the only thing i would win is a free shiv in the back when i'm not looking!", i replied. she looked at me funny as i closed the door, so i threw the cup at her. it was probably water soluble anyway, or one of those trick cups with a hole in the side. fuckers.
this afternoon there's a celebration at 3:30 and some food at 5. but i'm on to "them". i'm paying some kid who works at the hardees across the street to test the food for me. "we" have been nervously talking all day, and rumor has it there will be mind altering beverages there. lord knows i can't have these, because i know that's just what "they" would want. just in case, i have an air rifle tapped to my chest. it could turn ugly. i'll keep you informed...
*you know, cuz i'd be covered in blue placenta...it'd be all over me...and...oh, shut up
TRUTHS TO THE TALE:
-we got donuts. they were fuckin great. and there were way more than 3 exclamation points on the sign.
-we got water. i got blue ink all over myself. it was grocery store brand.
-we got glorified keg cups. honestly, isn't this a really odd thing to give out? to make it better, i chose pink.
-we have a party-type thing today. but there won't be beer there, so there won't be me there either.
then on tuesday, we all got a bottle of water with a company label on it. i may or may not have asked if i could trade my bottle of water for an hour of leave. after a few swigs of this luke-warm water (i don't know whose person these bottles of water were on before they gave em out, and i don't want to), someone pointed out that the company labels were just cleverly covering the water's original label. those management bastards! they were trying to fool us! now i know why kerry is always clamoring about "us" vs. "them"! it was all a clever ruse - this water wasn't specially ordered or developed at some lab to increase metabolism or muscle growth! it was just plain old H20. i bet those assholes even tried to figure out a way to lose one of the H's. that would be just like management, offering us HO in corporate bottles. no doubt monday's donuts were just a mixture of flour, sugar substitue, and cotton. fuck!
naturally i started tearing off the company label to see what brand of water "they" bought. i couldn't stand to be duped like this! but before i knew it, i was covered from elbow to fingertip in blue, like i had just delivered a blue alien baby*! yup, the labels were wet or colored with chalk or made with fresh boysenberries. those wily managers - "they" were gonna thwart "our" attempt to gain some knowledge. bastards!
so yesterday when a woman came around offering plastic company cups, i was ready for something. anything. she asked what color i wanted, but i saw through "their" thin veiled attempt to psycho-analyze me. so i grabbed the first one in the pile and shooed her out the door. "but don't you want this raffle ticket for tomorrow?", she asked as i shoved her out. "if it comes from "them", the only thing i would win is a free shiv in the back when i'm not looking!", i replied. she looked at me funny as i closed the door, so i threw the cup at her. it was probably water soluble anyway, or one of those trick cups with a hole in the side. fuckers.
this afternoon there's a celebration at 3:30 and some food at 5. but i'm on to "them". i'm paying some kid who works at the hardees across the street to test the food for me. "we" have been nervously talking all day, and rumor has it there will be mind altering beverages there. lord knows i can't have these, because i know that's just what "they" would want. just in case, i have an air rifle tapped to my chest. it could turn ugly. i'll keep you informed...
*you know, cuz i'd be covered in blue placenta...it'd be all over me...and...oh, shut up
TRUTHS TO THE TALE:
-we got donuts. they were fuckin great. and there were way more than 3 exclamation points on the sign.
-we got water. i got blue ink all over myself. it was grocery store brand.
-we got glorified keg cups. honestly, isn't this a really odd thing to give out? to make it better, i chose pink.
-we have a party-type thing today. but there won't be beer there, so there won't be me there either.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
here's the gist of cnn's top 9 stories rite now:
beheadings, bombings, war
twinkies, cat stevens, dementia
prison, lotto winner, the Red Baron
the una-bomber is sitting in his jail cell right now, writing one fantastic mad lib with that shit.
beheadings, bombings, war
twinkies, cat stevens, dementia
prison, lotto winner, the Red Baron
the una-bomber is sitting in his jail cell right now, writing one fantastic mad lib with that shit.
ichiro went 5-5 last nite and is now back on pace to break the single season hits record. i have never been a big fan of ichiro, mostly because he undeservedly won the MVP back in 2001 (he wasn't even the best hitter on the m's that year). i realize he is very good, blah blah blah, and that this is a ridiculously hard record to break. but i pretty much think he is overrated/overhyped. he isn't even among the top 10-15 hitters in the AL alone. he's hitting over .370 and his OBP is barely over .410. ichiro (.872 OPS) is on par offensively with johnny damon (.858) and carlos lee (.881), not the likes of manny, sheff, or vlad. he's arguably not even the best japanese outfielder (matsui's OPS is .886).
the guy has 33 extra base hits. how can he be so friggin fast that he beats out groundballs to first, but he can't leg out some doubles? i get sick and tired of guys on the mariners saying shit about how he could hit more homeruns if he wanted, that he spends all of batting practice hitting bombs. well let's fucking see it in games! yes he has unreal bat control. yes he has deion-like speed. is he extremely unique? absolutely. a draw for fans? sure. but im gonna go out on a limb here and say ichiro is as one-dimensional a hitter as, say, pete incaviglia. and he has worse facial hair than a 13 year old going thru puberty (or me at age 26, same shit).
earlier in the week he took the single season singles record from wee willie keeler. now this just sucks. i'd much rather have a guy in the record books whose name makes him sound like (1) a midget wrestler, or (2) what some 5'2" guy calls his penis. i don't think there can be much debate on this.
im sure espn will start cutting in to show his ab's live in the next few days. i have no problem with this - a record is a record. but i really hope that when he hits #258, it's not some squibber to third that he beats by half a step. even though this would be representative of a large percentage of his hits, it would be totally anti-climactic. and no one likes a bad climax.
so lets wrap this up.
ichiro: very good, but overrated.
pete incaviglia: at this very moment, probably drinking at a trucker bar with darren daulton. undoubtedly sporting a mullet.
my facial hair: on par with all non-mel gibson characters in mad max, beyond thunderdome.
johnny damon: throws and has hair like a really unattractive girl. but hits well.
wee willie keeler: fucking awesome.
the guy has 33 extra base hits. how can he be so friggin fast that he beats out groundballs to first, but he can't leg out some doubles? i get sick and tired of guys on the mariners saying shit about how he could hit more homeruns if he wanted, that he spends all of batting practice hitting bombs. well let's fucking see it in games! yes he has unreal bat control. yes he has deion-like speed. is he extremely unique? absolutely. a draw for fans? sure. but im gonna go out on a limb here and say ichiro is as one-dimensional a hitter as, say, pete incaviglia. and he has worse facial hair than a 13 year old going thru puberty (or me at age 26, same shit).
earlier in the week he took the single season singles record from wee willie keeler. now this just sucks. i'd much rather have a guy in the record books whose name makes him sound like (1) a midget wrestler, or (2) what some 5'2" guy calls his penis. i don't think there can be much debate on this.
im sure espn will start cutting in to show his ab's live in the next few days. i have no problem with this - a record is a record. but i really hope that when he hits #258, it's not some squibber to third that he beats by half a step. even though this would be representative of a large percentage of his hits, it would be totally anti-climactic. and no one likes a bad climax.
so lets wrap this up.
ichiro: very good, but overrated.
pete incaviglia: at this very moment, probably drinking at a trucker bar with darren daulton. undoubtedly sporting a mullet.
my facial hair: on par with all non-mel gibson characters in mad max, beyond thunderdome.
johnny damon: throws and has hair like a really unattractive girl. but hits well.
wee willie keeler: fucking awesome.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
so a while back, on a post with no other comments, there was what i believe to be an automated comment from this jason mulgrew person. it was pretty much an advertisment for his blog. the lemmer got one too. weird, eh?
well, his blog is awesome. i think maybe he's a friend of a friend of lg, but really i have no fucking clue who this dude is. link to the left as lunch meat, which really is a fantastic nickname, especially for a complete stranger. read his stuff, and im sure you'll agree it's fitting.
well, his blog is awesome. i think maybe he's a friend of a friend of lg, but really i have no fucking clue who this dude is. link to the left as lunch meat, which really is a fantastic nickname, especially for a complete stranger. read his stuff, and im sure you'll agree it's fitting.
kerry did letterman's top ten last nite (from cnn). gotta love that hair reference:
Kerry's "Top 10 Bush Tax Proposals" are:
10. No estate tax for families with at least two U.S. presidents.
9. W-2 Form is now Dubya-2 Form.
8. Under the simplified tax code, your refund check goes directly to Halliburton.
7. The reduced earned income tax credit is so unfair, it just makes me want to tear out my lustrous, finely groomed hair.
6. Attorney General (John) Ashcroft gets to write off the entire U.S. Constitution.
5. Texas Rangers can take a business loss for trading Sammy Sosa.
4. Eliminate all income taxes; just ask Teresa (Heinz Kerry) to cover the whole damn thing.
3. Cheney can claim Bush as a dependent.
2. Hundred-dollar penalty if you pronounce it "nuclear" instead of "nucular."
1. George W. Bush gets a deduction for mortgaging our entire future.
Kerry's "Top 10 Bush Tax Proposals" are:
10. No estate tax for families with at least two U.S. presidents.
9. W-2 Form is now Dubya-2 Form.
8. Under the simplified tax code, your refund check goes directly to Halliburton.
7. The reduced earned income tax credit is so unfair, it just makes me want to tear out my lustrous, finely groomed hair.
6. Attorney General (John) Ashcroft gets to write off the entire U.S. Constitution.
5. Texas Rangers can take a business loss for trading Sammy Sosa.
4. Eliminate all income taxes; just ask Teresa (Heinz Kerry) to cover the whole damn thing.
3. Cheney can claim Bush as a dependent.
2. Hundred-dollar penalty if you pronounce it "nuclear" instead of "nucular."
1. George W. Bush gets a deduction for mortgaging our entire future.
Monday, September 20, 2004
so i caught the 4th quarter of the bengals-fish game last nite. talk about two squads with miserable quaterbacks. palmer may be fine in the long run, but kitna is better rite now. and aj feely? let's just call him mr. heather mitts. when i turned the game on, the bengals were up 13-3 and the dolphins had the ball. feely had a horrific series, and the fish had to punt with under 6 minutes to play. that's it. there is no possible way miami should be able to mount a comeback.
the bengals run on first down. then on second down they line up WITH NO ONE IN THE BACKFIELD. you have a qb with under 100 yards passing in the game (at that point), you can take roughly 2-3 minutes off the clock by running into the line (unless you have jake plummer at the helm), and they throw the ball. incomplete. and then the throw AGAIN!!! incomplete. then the punt takes a bad hop and nets 15 yards. so cincy took 30 seconds off the clock and gave the dolphins better field position than they had before their own punt. unbelievable. their offensive coordinator should have to eat palmer's sideline baseball hat (by the way, why do those guys put baseball hats on when they get off the field?? are they embarrassed of helmet hair?).
but then the biggest mystery in the nfl happened. a guy who has managed to get his team 3 points in 3 3/4 quarters all of a sudden can complete a pass. even two. and gets lucky with a tipped pass thrown into coverage. yup, dolpins td - in 40 seonds. how does this consistently happen week in and week out in the nfl? teams who go 3 and out 7 straight times can all of a sudden move the ball at will in a no-huddle offense with their team down 2 scores. next week it will be some other sub-par qb who sucked ass all game (which means trent green, brad johnson, and kyle boller are all due).
so cincy gets the ball, up 3, with 3:40 left. and on 3rd and 3, they turn to palmer. again. incomplete pass, 3 and out in 9 fucking seconds. if you call a draw play here, even if the runner is stopped, you force the fish to burn a timeout. at this point the offensive coordinator should be forced to eat all the cigarette butts in the press box. the punt is returned like 30 yards (since cincy's special teams ability is directly related to the attractiveness of their black-with-orange-tiger-stripes uniform pants), and the dolphins have the ball at the bengals 30 (roughly where they just punted from).
feely works his magic again (not the good kind). he gets miami 2 yards, forcing a long field goal by olindo mare. it's good, tie game. at this point, im figuring who ever chooses to receive on the overtime coin flip will lose.
but shockingly, i don't have to wait for next week to see another useless quarterback go on a tear after choking all game. palmer gets the ball at his own 20, puts on a drive twice as long as his second best of the day, and the bengals win it with a 39 yarder.
after watching that crap, i will say this about it: (1) it's hilarious to watch (especially feely's face after over- or under-throwing receivers then looking around for flags), and (2) this is why the nfl is great for fans. every week, you have 2-3 games that get decided in the final seconds. every week, you have some awful qb run the 2 minute drill like he's elway (and if you're lucky, twice in 3 minutes). and unless you root for a team that really, REALLY sucks, your team will have a chance to win.
also, jeff garcia is duck-footed.
the bengals run on first down. then on second down they line up WITH NO ONE IN THE BACKFIELD. you have a qb with under 100 yards passing in the game (at that point), you can take roughly 2-3 minutes off the clock by running into the line (unless you have jake plummer at the helm), and they throw the ball. incomplete. and then the throw AGAIN!!! incomplete. then the punt takes a bad hop and nets 15 yards. so cincy took 30 seconds off the clock and gave the dolphins better field position than they had before their own punt. unbelievable. their offensive coordinator should have to eat palmer's sideline baseball hat (by the way, why do those guys put baseball hats on when they get off the field?? are they embarrassed of helmet hair?).
but then the biggest mystery in the nfl happened. a guy who has managed to get his team 3 points in 3 3/4 quarters all of a sudden can complete a pass. even two. and gets lucky with a tipped pass thrown into coverage. yup, dolpins td - in 40 seonds. how does this consistently happen week in and week out in the nfl? teams who go 3 and out 7 straight times can all of a sudden move the ball at will in a no-huddle offense with their team down 2 scores. next week it will be some other sub-par qb who sucked ass all game (which means trent green, brad johnson, and kyle boller are all due).
so cincy gets the ball, up 3, with 3:40 left. and on 3rd and 3, they turn to palmer. again. incomplete pass, 3 and out in 9 fucking seconds. if you call a draw play here, even if the runner is stopped, you force the fish to burn a timeout. at this point the offensive coordinator should be forced to eat all the cigarette butts in the press box. the punt is returned like 30 yards (since cincy's special teams ability is directly related to the attractiveness of their black-with-orange-tiger-stripes uniform pants), and the dolphins have the ball at the bengals 30 (roughly where they just punted from).
feely works his magic again (not the good kind). he gets miami 2 yards, forcing a long field goal by olindo mare. it's good, tie game. at this point, im figuring who ever chooses to receive on the overtime coin flip will lose.
but shockingly, i don't have to wait for next week to see another useless quarterback go on a tear after choking all game. palmer gets the ball at his own 20, puts on a drive twice as long as his second best of the day, and the bengals win it with a 39 yarder.
after watching that crap, i will say this about it: (1) it's hilarious to watch (especially feely's face after over- or under-throwing receivers then looking around for flags), and (2) this is why the nfl is great for fans. every week, you have 2-3 games that get decided in the final seconds. every week, you have some awful qb run the 2 minute drill like he's elway (and if you're lucky, twice in 3 minutes). and unless you root for a team that really, REALLY sucks, your team will have a chance to win.
also, jeff garcia is duck-footed.
is roger clemens going to retire? i mean, you don't want to see him be one of those guys who keeps playing because he doesn't know what else to do and winds up a marginal player. but at 40 (41?), this guys is still ridiculous. he looked as dominant last nite as i have seen him in a long time. there were times on the yanks when i thought he was lucky to go six innings. but it looks like he has rejuvenated himself again. in the 3rd or fourth inning yesterday, he gave up a leadoff double to brady clark, then struck out geoff jenkins on three straight splitters in the 89-91 range, and did the same thing to lyle overbay (3 straight). these guys are solid, middle of the order hitters, and they didn't take the strikes either - swung through all of them. it was unbelievable. how can he retire when he is still so dominant? i guess it will depend on what houston's outlook is for 2005. either way, im definitely pulling for the stros to take the wild card.
oh yeah, and the yanks-sox game friday nite was blacked out here for the cubs-reds. so that was fun.
oh yeah, and the yanks-sox game friday nite was blacked out here for the cubs-reds. so that was fun.
Friday, September 17, 2004
with nina in albuquerque for the week and my baseball league winding down (no weeknite games for the first time since like may!), i pretty much established a healthy poker addiction. i basically did nothing everynite but play $5 or $10 single table tournaments. i've taken first in a little over 20% of them and been top 3 in about 30%. i don't really know how good this is, but clearly i am making strides to lose the label of "worst poker player i know." i contemplated mixing it up with a little blackjack, but i don't how the shuffling works online (greg, do you know?) so counting cards may be for naught.
the only other thing i did consistently this week was watch rescue me on fx. it's on like everyday (they can only run so many nip/tuck episodes or reruns of the royal tennebaums). it's about guys in an FDNY firehouse. and it's great. not like "emmy" great, but clearly "ethan" great (insert jokes re: bend it like beckham, etc). dennis leary rules. the show is totally cliche, but somehow still appealing. and it's always funny when leary tries to be a bad ass cuz he's pushing 130 lbs soaking wet (and coming from me that is no good). also, i like how fx is free hbo. they say "shit" and "pussy" all the time on the show (don't ask me how this is legal), the characters get in over-the-top sex situations, and how can you not find it hilarious when the crotchety, fat, old fire chief is setting up the rules for a penis-length contest? also, i think there's only been like 1 fire in the 5 episodes i've seen, and that one existed only so some unknown fireman could die and leary & co. could go kick the guy who started the fire's ass. and so someone could start screwing the hot widow (i warned you it was cliche).
anyway, yanks-sox 7pm, ESPN tonite. be there or be square. and by there i mean on your couch.
the only other thing i did consistently this week was watch rescue me on fx. it's on like everyday (they can only run so many nip/tuck episodes or reruns of the royal tennebaums). it's about guys in an FDNY firehouse. and it's great. not like "emmy" great, but clearly "ethan" great (insert jokes re: bend it like beckham, etc). dennis leary rules. the show is totally cliche, but somehow still appealing. and it's always funny when leary tries to be a bad ass cuz he's pushing 130 lbs soaking wet (and coming from me that is no good). also, i like how fx is free hbo. they say "shit" and "pussy" all the time on the show (don't ask me how this is legal), the characters get in over-the-top sex situations, and how can you not find it hilarious when the crotchety, fat, old fire chief is setting up the rules for a penis-length contest? also, i think there's only been like 1 fire in the 5 episodes i've seen, and that one existed only so some unknown fireman could die and leary & co. could go kick the guy who started the fire's ass. and so someone could start screwing the hot widow (i warned you it was cliche).
anyway, yanks-sox 7pm, ESPN tonite. be there or be square. and by there i mean on your couch.
Thursday, September 16, 2004
enough with the change!
so coins. more annoying than the guy who wants to meet shooter at red lobster, yet still being minted. and the nickel no less. is this new design supposed to encourage people to go out and get more nickels? to spend more nickels? what's the idea here? i don't get it.
news flash to the treasury department: coins suck ass. you can't buy anything for a penny, and nothing but urine-covered after-dinner mints with a nickel. the dime's buying power is dead. i don't even like the quarter, but i suppose we need something to put into public phones, decide who kicks off, and bounce into shot glasses. so please. help people with billfolds and pocket-less shorts everywhere. stop trying to make coins cool. better yet, just stop trying to make them, period.
so coins. more annoying than the guy who wants to meet shooter at red lobster, yet still being minted. and the nickel no less. is this new design supposed to encourage people to go out and get more nickels? to spend more nickels? what's the idea here? i don't get it.
news flash to the treasury department: coins suck ass. you can't buy anything for a penny, and nothing but urine-covered after-dinner mints with a nickel. the dime's buying power is dead. i don't even like the quarter, but i suppose we need something to put into public phones, decide who kicks off, and bounce into shot glasses. so please. help people with billfolds and pocket-less shorts everywhere. stop trying to make coins cool. better yet, just stop trying to make them, period.
at the end of last season, as alfonso soriano was racking up k's in the playoffs faster than rob deer, i said 2004 would be a make or break campaign for his career. well, with this season just about over, it looks like old fonzie has pretty much established the type of player he will be in the coming years - one who will never really tap into his full potential.
soriano has continued to decline in both power numbers and steals, while his absolutely horendous walk rate has remained the same. his defense is still sub-par, and while he is a better than average hitter for a second basemen, i don't see him ever putting together MVP-type numbers (which looked certainly possibly back in 02).
is he a good player? yes. is he an exciting player? yes. but you have to put him in the category with andruw jones (who i think is better) - a player who has unbelievable pure talent and athleticism but one who never really put it together and made the leap from star to superstar (in 2000, jones seemed primed to make that jump after hitting over .300, but has since dropped consistently to the .265-.275 zone). i don't see soriano (and certainly not jones) dropping off from the numbers they currently produce - i just don't see them improving significantly on them either. showalter and cox (who at least gets gold glove defense from andruw) must wanna slam their heads into the water cooler over how many ab's those two waste.
OPS for rangers with > 350 PAs
texeria .943
mench .875
blalock .860
delucci .835
yound .831
soriano .810
with soriano in a walk year, i think someone is going to pay WAY too much for his future services based on potential/hype (instead of his god-awful learning curve, or lack thereof). and i wouldn't be surprised if it was king george.
and just for the record, i'd take mark bellhorn (.830 OPS, .374 OBP) over soriano.
soriano has continued to decline in both power numbers and steals, while his absolutely horendous walk rate has remained the same. his defense is still sub-par, and while he is a better than average hitter for a second basemen, i don't see him ever putting together MVP-type numbers (which looked certainly possibly back in 02).
is he a good player? yes. is he an exciting player? yes. but you have to put him in the category with andruw jones (who i think is better) - a player who has unbelievable pure talent and athleticism but one who never really put it together and made the leap from star to superstar (in 2000, jones seemed primed to make that jump after hitting over .300, but has since dropped consistently to the .265-.275 zone). i don't see soriano (and certainly not jones) dropping off from the numbers they currently produce - i just don't see them improving significantly on them either. showalter and cox (who at least gets gold glove defense from andruw) must wanna slam their heads into the water cooler over how many ab's those two waste.
OPS for rangers with > 350 PAs
texeria .943
mench .875
blalock .860
delucci .835
yound .831
soriano .810
with soriano in a walk year, i think someone is going to pay WAY too much for his future services based on potential/hype (instead of his god-awful learning curve, or lack thereof). and i wouldn't be surprised if it was king george.
and just for the record, i'd take mark bellhorn (.830 OPS, .374 OBP) over soriano.
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
after reading mair's analagy for sox/yanks fans, i was reminded of a similar analagy being used to discuss another topic:
let's say it's SAT time. you have studied hard, practiced, improved, and wound up with a very impressive 1500. your friend didn't study at all - he is just great at math and has a ridiculous grasp on vocabulary. what can you say? he was just born smart, winds up with a 1500 too. you and your friend are very pleased.
but then the College Board decides that those kids who got 400s, well, they really need some more points. i mean, how can they get into college with such low scores? so the Board is taking 500 of your points and distributing them to those who for whatever reason (didn't study, just aren't very bright, etc) did embarrassingly bad.
now the kids who scored 1000, they have to give up some points too, but only 100. so you and your friend now have a score of 1000, the kids who scored 1000 are now at 900, and the folks with the 400s are now up to 410 (because there's a lot more people with 400s than 1500s, and the points had to be shared).
what student in their right mind would think this was acceptable? um, no one. i honestly don't think 1 single student or parent would say they thought this was fair. yet millions of americans support a tax system of this nature...
let's say it's SAT time. you have studied hard, practiced, improved, and wound up with a very impressive 1500. your friend didn't study at all - he is just great at math and has a ridiculous grasp on vocabulary. what can you say? he was just born smart, winds up with a 1500 too. you and your friend are very pleased.
but then the College Board decides that those kids who got 400s, well, they really need some more points. i mean, how can they get into college with such low scores? so the Board is taking 500 of your points and distributing them to those who for whatever reason (didn't study, just aren't very bright, etc) did embarrassingly bad.
now the kids who scored 1000, they have to give up some points too, but only 100. so you and your friend now have a score of 1000, the kids who scored 1000 are now at 900, and the folks with the 400s are now up to 410 (because there's a lot more people with 400s than 1500s, and the points had to be shared).
what student in their right mind would think this was acceptable? um, no one. i honestly don't think 1 single student or parent would say they thought this was fair. yet millions of americans support a tax system of this nature...
how the moose got his groove back
amidst all the garbage being thrown by vazquez, lieber, and tanyon (and the lack of anything being thrown by kevin brown), it appears mike mussina is back on track. he's looking like the moose of old, and just in time for his last few postseason tune-ups. in his last three starts, mussina has tossed 25 innings, given up 14 hits and 3 runs while walking 1 (!!) and striking out 25. yikes. that's filthy.
on the cy young front, johan's changeup is looking as devastating as pedro's used to be. given this fact (and that he has thrown 18 straight quality starts), shouldn't hitters just be looking change until they have 2 strikes? odds are, he will throw you one early in the count. they could at least do this for one trip thru the order. it's not like anything else is working for hitters against him. what would you have to lose?
amidst all the garbage being thrown by vazquez, lieber, and tanyon (and the lack of anything being thrown by kevin brown), it appears mike mussina is back on track. he's looking like the moose of old, and just in time for his last few postseason tune-ups. in his last three starts, mussina has tossed 25 innings, given up 14 hits and 3 runs while walking 1 (!!) and striking out 25. yikes. that's filthy.
on the cy young front, johan's changeup is looking as devastating as pedro's used to be. given this fact (and that he has thrown 18 straight quality starts), shouldn't hitters just be looking change until they have 2 strikes? odds are, he will throw you one early in the count. they could at least do this for one trip thru the order. it's not like anything else is working for hitters against him. what would you have to lose?
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
i can't stand hearing people say khalil green is the favorite for NL ROY. i know he plays short, i know he's played the whole year. and i really do like his numbers (and the way he wears his hat): .273 avg, .795 OPS, 15 jacks, 65 rbi's in 136 games.
but, um, jason bay anyone? .297, .948!!!, 23, 72 in only 103 games. this guy is batting 4th in a horrible lineup (i.e. no protection), while greene has spent most of the year hitting 8th on a team full of mashers. i know he won't have played nearly as many games as greene, but im sure guys have won ROY before with less...
but, um, jason bay anyone? .297, .948!!!, 23, 72 in only 103 games. this guy is batting 4th in a horrible lineup (i.e. no protection), while greene has spent most of the year hitting 8th on a team full of mashers. i know he won't have played nearly as many games as greene, but im sure guys have won ROY before with less...
i'm so busy at work this week. so busy, in fact, that im drinking countless cups of coffee, stirring each one with a different flavor dum dum. and recording the results in excel.
so far sour apple is in the lead.
so far sour apple is in the lead.
after seeing the intro to MNF last nite, i realized two things:
(1) they need to replace that horrible "are you ready for some football?" song. it used to pump me up. when i was 11. but it's lived its life folks. having street dancers and guys drumming on upside down pool cleaner buckets isn't gonna save it. let's get some new blood in there.
and (2) i've never seen "easy rider". granted, it was sad to see dennis hopper relegated to making football pre-game cameos. but this should probably be bumped to the top of our netflix queue, no?
(1) they need to replace that horrible "are you ready for some football?" song. it used to pump me up. when i was 11. but it's lived its life folks. having street dancers and guys drumming on upside down pool cleaner buckets isn't gonna save it. let's get some new blood in there.
and (2) i've never seen "easy rider". granted, it was sad to see dennis hopper relegated to making football pre-game cameos. but this should probably be bumped to the top of our netflix queue, no?
i started reading steppenwolf last nite. and immediately i can see why it's one of the lemmer's favorites. i mean, it's about a lone, travelling german guy who reads tons of books and drinks a lot of wine. in fact i think im gonna start calling him vegaswolf. now if i can only get him to start talking about the clean smell of turpentine.
in other book news, i read two steinbeck novels recently: The Moon Is Down, and In Dubious Battle. i really enjoyed the former - about the relationship between conquerors and the conquered in WWII. it's a quick read: i'll set the over/under for number of trips to the jon necessary to finish it at 4. per usual, there was one or two typical steinbeck passages, insights into human nature that to me are the best parts of his work.
the latter is about unions and communists in america, set in the early-mid 1900's. apparently this book got steinbeck in all sorts of hot water with the press way back when, who labeled him a red and a commy sympathizer. i don't really know why, since it didn't really paint such a good picture of reds. it actually didn't really have any connotation on the matter, it just simply painted the picture. it was definitely interesting, but not my favorite of his and probably the least "steinbeck" of his books that i've read.
i've read so many more books this year than any other time in my life. but sometimes when i want to talk about them, i just feel like a pretentious asshole. i know this is ridiculous, but still.
also, oscar has fallen off his bicycle. he is currently trying to get back on.
in other book news, i read two steinbeck novels recently: The Moon Is Down, and In Dubious Battle. i really enjoyed the former - about the relationship between conquerors and the conquered in WWII. it's a quick read: i'll set the over/under for number of trips to the jon necessary to finish it at 4. per usual, there was one or two typical steinbeck passages, insights into human nature that to me are the best parts of his work.
the latter is about unions and communists in america, set in the early-mid 1900's. apparently this book got steinbeck in all sorts of hot water with the press way back when, who labeled him a red and a commy sympathizer. i don't really know why, since it didn't really paint such a good picture of reds. it actually didn't really have any connotation on the matter, it just simply painted the picture. it was definitely interesting, but not my favorite of his and probably the least "steinbeck" of his books that i've read.
i've read so many more books this year than any other time in my life. but sometimes when i want to talk about them, i just feel like a pretentious asshole. i know this is ridiculous, but still.
also, oscar has fallen off his bicycle. he is currently trying to get back on.
Monday, September 13, 2004
did anybody else catch that ridiculous play by jake "the snake" plummer last nite? as he's getting pulled down for a sack at his own goal line, he switches the ball to his left hand and throws a 6 yard duck (did i mention this was done lefty?) - right to a group of 3 chiefs. i missed the rest of the quarter because i fell off my bed.
i hate that this guy has a nickname. shitty players don't get nicknames, plain and simple. and since when did guys in the pros start keeping their college nicknames? if i were a snake, i think i'd be pretty pissed that i had to be identified with this guy. even with their pea-sized brains and propensity to be dazed by the sound of a flute, i bet there's plenty of real snakes out there who would've known to take a sack on that play.
also, as the cameras pan to plummer on the sideline as the game clock expires (he finished with modest numbers and 2 TDs/2 INTs), the announcer goes "there's the best qb denver has seen since john elway!" yup folks. he's the best of all 2 quarterbacks they've had since elway retired. very impressive.
i hate that this guy has a nickname. shitty players don't get nicknames, plain and simple. and since when did guys in the pros start keeping their college nicknames? if i were a snake, i think i'd be pretty pissed that i had to be identified with this guy. even with their pea-sized brains and propensity to be dazed by the sound of a flute, i bet there's plenty of real snakes out there who would've known to take a sack on that play.
also, as the cameras pan to plummer on the sideline as the game clock expires (he finished with modest numbers and 2 TDs/2 INTs), the announcer goes "there's the best qb denver has seen since john elway!" yup folks. he's the best of all 2 quarterbacks they've had since elway retired. very impressive.
Friday, September 10, 2004
i think it's time for everyone to realize/admit that (at least rite now) the yanks are the underdog to the sox this postseason. sure, this may be odd given that the sox aren't even in 1st. but we've already been over boston's vastly superior pitching, and they lead the AL in almost every offensive category (including runs, average, and OPS). im not saying, like, huge underdogs, but i wouldn't be surprised if the yanks had slightly worse odds in vegas of winning the series.
also, while i am the first to admit jeter does not and has not put up the best numbers for a ss this year and in the past, i would also like people to realize how good an offensive player he is. while to joe-blow baseball fans he is vastly overrated, i get the feeling that among hard core baseball fans, he is underrated:
top 5 ss this year in OPS
guillen .920 (11 sb's)
tejada .886 (4)
nomar .841 (4)
young .820 (11)
jeter .797 (22)
of this group, guillen, tejada, and young are having their best seasons ever, while nomar and jeter (who may very well pass young before long) are underperforming compared to their career numbers:
nomar .920
jeter .845
tejada .804
guillen .765
young .754
anyway, my vote for ss of the year would go to miggie and his friggin 122 rbi's.
also, while i am the first to admit jeter does not and has not put up the best numbers for a ss this year and in the past, i would also like people to realize how good an offensive player he is. while to joe-blow baseball fans he is vastly overrated, i get the feeling that among hard core baseball fans, he is underrated:
top 5 ss this year in OPS
guillen .920 (11 sb's)
tejada .886 (4)
nomar .841 (4)
young .820 (11)
jeter .797 (22)
of this group, guillen, tejada, and young are having their best seasons ever, while nomar and jeter (who may very well pass young before long) are underperforming compared to their career numbers:
nomar .920
jeter .845
tejada .804
guillen .765
young .754
anyway, my vote for ss of the year would go to miggie and his friggin 122 rbi's.
when i was little, the hero on superfriends that i wanted to be was green lantern. in hindsight, he was probably the least cool, seeing as he had, say, NO special powers other than a piece of jewelry. but what can i say, i always wanted that fucking green ring. also, i pretty much thought my brother and sister (2 years apart) were twins, because they were always yelling "wonder twins - unite!"
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
today our space program took a pretty big hit. yup, genesis crashed. not nearly as bad as a shuttle crash. but i'd still say this was pretty unfortunate, as it was carrying PIECES OF THE SUN and all. not that i know what the hell the scientists would do with sun fragments, but im guessing it woulda been something cool. also, it had been up there for 3 years. so somebody just wasted over 1000 days of their life.
there is one amazing thing here though. given the fact that the flying saucer with sun souvineirs was basically going faster than anything this side of our super-duper air-o-planes or, um, light, it's downright unbelievable that there's anything left of the thing at all. but if you look at the 2nd pic on the link above, you'll see that it isn't completely shredded.
on a quasi-related note, it appears the theme of disfunctional technology was not limited to nasa today. this south carolina robber's gun must've been busted. stick 'im, cletus!
there is one amazing thing here though. given the fact that the flying saucer with sun souvineirs was basically going faster than anything this side of our super-duper air-o-planes or, um, light, it's downright unbelievable that there's anything left of the thing at all. but if you look at the 2nd pic on the link above, you'll see that it isn't completely shredded.
on a quasi-related note, it appears the theme of disfunctional technology was not limited to nasa today. this south carolina robber's gun must've been busted. stick 'im, cletus!
after hearing the preliminary story line to the "Hurri-gate" yanks/d-rays saga, even i was ready to say the yanks' front office were being babies. but here's an interesting insight on the matter.
also, when the game was finally set for 7pm, it was supposed to air on espn. so i start watching, and see the top of the first. then all of a sudden, the announcers say, "well, we have to cut to drag racing now, we'll be back." i assumed they meant for like 30 seconds for a world record or something, but no. for 7 innings (2+ hours!!) they showed drag racing. world wide leader in sports my ass. honestly, what were the ratings for that?! i'd like to see some defense for them cutting away from a penant race (and a game they said they would air at 1pm, 3pm, and finally 7pm) to show cars sprinting 1/4 mile. the fans at yankee stadium who showed up at 11am for the 1pm game got free hotdogs and soda all day until the game started 6 hours late. i think espn should match that offer and mail me a package of weiners and some cokes for that motor-head bullshit.
also, when the game was finally set for 7pm, it was supposed to air on espn. so i start watching, and see the top of the first. then all of a sudden, the announcers say, "well, we have to cut to drag racing now, we'll be back." i assumed they meant for like 30 seconds for a world record or something, but no. for 7 innings (2+ hours!!) they showed drag racing. world wide leader in sports my ass. honestly, what were the ratings for that?! i'd like to see some defense for them cutting away from a penant race (and a game they said they would air at 1pm, 3pm, and finally 7pm) to show cars sprinting 1/4 mile. the fans at yankee stadium who showed up at 11am for the 1pm game got free hotdogs and soda all day until the game started 6 hours late. i think espn should match that offer and mail me a package of weiners and some cokes for that motor-head bullshit.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
good old labor day weekend. we started our 3 day recess from work at a 10-person birthday dinner at a thai restaurant for our friend kyle. reservations weren't until 8:30, but immediately the winds of the impending alcohol storm started blowing. as soon as we get seated, kyle gets up to inform us that the dinner is paid for (by an undisclosed benefactor) and that we are to promptly gorge (so we get him a $2.99 bag of peanut m&m's, and he gets us a REALLY expensive dinner. awesome.). before you can say fish sauce everyone is downing kirin like it's going out of style and the Chaitanic (an enormous $80 boat of sushi) has been ordered as an appetizer. the rest of dinner proceeds in similar fashion, with merry drunkeness escalating exponentially and absolutely no jokes about penis size when the waitress brings the Chaitanic and utters the phrase "do i have room to dock this baby?". we cap off the evening at some bar/club with 8 of us sharing 6 pitchers of rum. shockingly, this does little to cut the force of Hurricane Kyle and his entourage. eight hours after starting dinner, kyle falls asleep with an empty bag of m&m's in his hand and unchewed m&m's in his mouth. he said they still tasted good in the morning, though i can't imagine this to be true.
the weekend continued with many, many hours of poker (greg - i joined pokerroom.com), bw3's, beer, an hour and a half of exercise for good measure, parts of tango & cash, some more beer, ice cream sandwiches, and a bbq. how do you spell excess? l-a-b-o-r d-a-y.
the weekend continued with many, many hours of poker (greg - i joined pokerroom.com), bw3's, beer, an hour and a half of exercise for good measure, parts of tango & cash, some more beer, ice cream sandwiches, and a bbq. how do you spell excess? l-a-b-o-r d-a-y.
seriously, lemmer, how did you miss this? a chance to hang out with interesting individuals such as Rebel Barbie and drive Mad Max "mutant vehicles"?
Friday, September 03, 2004
dishonorable mentions of the week/month:
on tuesday, tony batista went 0-5 with 5 k's.
in his first 30 games since joining the pirates, super ty wigginton hit .170 with 1 hr and an OPS of .473. ouch.
on tuesday, tony batista went 0-5 with 5 k's.
in his first 30 games since joining the pirates, super ty wigginton hit .170 with 1 hr and an OPS of .473. ouch.
this week i'm going with some things that baffle me.
-im confused about people who offer you tickets to an event that start in 12 hours, but then ask for face value.
-im confused about illegal aliens. do they have rights? i mean, like any rights? it's not like if a crime is committed against them, they can go to the police, can they? wouldn't they get deported? can their kids go to school even though they don't pay taxes? do they have a form of identification? can they drive? if they get arrested, are they immediately deported? if they are found bringing drugs into our country, do they go to american jails? i could go on like this forever.
-im confused as to why i can't get the "labor dabor" cartoon to work on homestarrunner.com. i mean, it is labor day weekend and all. for fuck's sake, i wanna see someone hi-five the stick.
-im confused about why russia is all of a sudden having a rebellion crisis. on this same front, im confused why the RNC took top billing on cnn while that stuff was going on.
-im confused about the fact that while my year review at work is next week, my salary for the upcoming year was apparently determined over 6 months ago.
-im confused about people who offer you tickets to an event that start in 12 hours, but then ask for face value.
-im confused about illegal aliens. do they have rights? i mean, like any rights? it's not like if a crime is committed against them, they can go to the police, can they? wouldn't they get deported? can their kids go to school even though they don't pay taxes? do they have a form of identification? can they drive? if they get arrested, are they immediately deported? if they are found bringing drugs into our country, do they go to american jails? i could go on like this forever.
-im confused as to why i can't get the "labor dabor" cartoon to work on homestarrunner.com. i mean, it is labor day weekend and all. for fuck's sake, i wanna see someone hi-five the stick.
-im confused about why russia is all of a sudden having a rebellion crisis. on this same front, im confused why the RNC took top billing on cnn while that stuff was going on.
-im confused about the fact that while my year review at work is next week, my salary for the upcoming year was apparently determined over 6 months ago.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
i find things like the Latin Grammy's to be a little confusing. it's not that it exists in the first place (although something tells me an All-Cornbread Grammy's would not be aired on national television), it's that jessica simpson performed. i don't think you can be any more NON-Latin than tuna girl. yet i suppose my confusion on the matter pales in comparison to her confusion backstage:
Stage Manager: Me gusta su vestido. Eres muy bonita.
Jessica Simpson: Sorry, i don't speak alien.
SM: um, i was just saying i like your dress and that you are very pretty.
JS: (slowly) Me - only - speaky - English.
SM: wha?? I am speaking engl...
JS: (interrupting, scribbling) Here's - my - autograph. Tell - your - people - we - come - in - peace.
SM (slowly taking paper, looking around for the cast of punked): ok, where are the cameras?
JS: nick, honey, check out this alien i just met. it has a ponytail. weird, huh?
Stage Manager: Me gusta su vestido. Eres muy bonita.
Jessica Simpson: Sorry, i don't speak alien.
SM: um, i was just saying i like your dress and that you are very pretty.
JS: (slowly) Me - only - speaky - English.
SM: wha?? I am speaking engl...
JS: (interrupting, scribbling) Here's - my - autograph. Tell - your - people - we - come - in - peace.
SM (slowly taking paper, looking around for the cast of punked): ok, where are the cameras?
JS: nick, honey, check out this alien i just met. it has a ponytail. weird, huh?
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
so i keep reading about how the yanks are in trouble-this and the sox are gaining-that. first off, i think it's funny how members of the media package info such as this like they're giving me some kind of inside scoop. the yanks were up like 10 games 3 weeks ago, and are now only 3 games up. oh, boston is gaining? really? wait, what? 3 is less than 10? thank you captain obvious. no shit they're gaining.
they're offenses? comparable. they're defenses? comparable (even though people are now saying boston's is way better. i don't know you keep trotting out manny and millar in the same OF and then try to tell me their defense is superior). their pitching? i figured they were comparable, with the sox a hint better. so i went to the all-powerful numbers.
i knew the yanks staff was struggling, but jeez did i find some bullshit. they are just god awful:
brown - one good start since (gasp) may
javy - july & august era's of 6.61 and 7.43
mussina - last good start was june 6th
lieber - he's jon fuckin lieber. i've never want to see him pitch in the postseason. plus, as far as facial features go, he's a poor man's jason schmidt.
el duque - pitching great. monthly era's of 2.37 and 3.06 since putting on the pinstripes again.
i didn't really think the sox were that great, and i wasn't that far off:
pedro - 3.69 era, far from his dominant self. also, september is break-down month for him.
schilling - 3.39 era, but i don't think he's pitched as well as his 17-6 record shows.
wakefield - last 3 months era's are 5.70, 3.75, 5.03
arroyo - we'll put him the lieber category. this guy has no business starting in the postseason. defintely has been better than expected.
lowe - last 2 months era's are 5.66 and 4.19.
clearly the sox have the edge, but both pedro and schilling have been hittable this year and their 3-5 guys are blah. i wouldn't say that the sox staff in itself is phenomenal, it's that when looking at the yanks rotation they seem unbelievable. but yes, the staffs are not so comparable. im very glad the yanks won't see them in a 5-game series.
but here's the thing - over their last 16 games, the sox are 14-2 and the yanks are 7-9. 7-9 is not THAT bad. it's just that 14-2 is sick. the sox just won't play at this level for another 4 weeks. i'd be surprised if they play .600 ball in the month of september. if the yanks play mediocre ball (16-15) the rest of the way, they finish at 97-65. for the sox to beat this, they'd need to go 21-11 to finish 98-64. i don't see that happening, with their next 8 games against their fellow wild-card chasers, and then 6 games against new york near the end of the month. they'd need to play over .650-ball against playoff teams/contenders. i just think that's a stretch.
prediction: the yanks win the division by 3-4 games.
they're offenses? comparable. they're defenses? comparable (even though people are now saying boston's is way better. i don't know you keep trotting out manny and millar in the same OF and then try to tell me their defense is superior). their pitching? i figured they were comparable, with the sox a hint better. so i went to the all-powerful numbers.
i knew the yanks staff was struggling, but jeez did i find some bullshit. they are just god awful:
brown - one good start since (gasp) may
javy - july & august era's of 6.61 and 7.43
mussina - last good start was june 6th
lieber - he's jon fuckin lieber. i've never want to see him pitch in the postseason. plus, as far as facial features go, he's a poor man's jason schmidt.
el duque - pitching great. monthly era's of 2.37 and 3.06 since putting on the pinstripes again.
i didn't really think the sox were that great, and i wasn't that far off:
pedro - 3.69 era, far from his dominant self. also, september is break-down month for him.
schilling - 3.39 era, but i don't think he's pitched as well as his 17-6 record shows.
wakefield - last 3 months era's are 5.70, 3.75, 5.03
arroyo - we'll put him the lieber category. this guy has no business starting in the postseason. defintely has been better than expected.
lowe - last 2 months era's are 5.66 and 4.19.
clearly the sox have the edge, but both pedro and schilling have been hittable this year and their 3-5 guys are blah. i wouldn't say that the sox staff in itself is phenomenal, it's that when looking at the yanks rotation they seem unbelievable. but yes, the staffs are not so comparable. im very glad the yanks won't see them in a 5-game series.
but here's the thing - over their last 16 games, the sox are 14-2 and the yanks are 7-9. 7-9 is not THAT bad. it's just that 14-2 is sick. the sox just won't play at this level for another 4 weeks. i'd be surprised if they play .600 ball in the month of september. if the yanks play mediocre ball (16-15) the rest of the way, they finish at 97-65. for the sox to beat this, they'd need to go 21-11 to finish 98-64. i don't see that happening, with their next 8 games against their fellow wild-card chasers, and then 6 games against new york near the end of the month. they'd need to play over .650-ball against playoff teams/contenders. i just think that's a stretch.
prediction: the yanks win the division by 3-4 games.
i think metallica's black album rules. i know that when it came out in 1991, it was viewed by some hard core headbangers as a sellout because it had a few ballads on it. i didn't fucking care - i was only 13, and my sweet mullet and i were happy to rock out to black.
some people think of appretite of destruction as the defining rock album of our middle school (and thus formative rock) years. but in retrospect, black filled that role for me (taking the torch from iron maiden's ace's high of my 4th grade year). and while i do love metallica's 80's stuff and it's clearly different and rougher edge, i don't think black was a sellout. maybe that's because i've been listening to it for half of my life, or maybe that's because songs like don't tread on me kick ass.
if you haven't listened to black in a while, go give it a listen. i bet you'll be surprised at how many words and solos you'll instinctively know.
some people think of appretite of destruction as the defining rock album of our middle school (and thus formative rock) years. but in retrospect, black filled that role for me (taking the torch from iron maiden's ace's high of my 4th grade year). and while i do love metallica's 80's stuff and it's clearly different and rougher edge, i don't think black was a sellout. maybe that's because i've been listening to it for half of my life, or maybe that's because songs like don't tread on me kick ass.
if you haven't listened to black in a while, go give it a listen. i bet you'll be surprised at how many words and solos you'll instinctively know.
did anybody see laura bush's speech? tell me that did not look like a saturday nite live skit. i saw it at the gym this morning with no sound on, and it took me like 30 seconds to realize it wasn't a joke.
anyway, Operation FHM (Facial Hair for Me) is finally over. after 9 weeks of a goatee, i shaved it off monday morning. so i'm back to looking 11 again. sigh.
anyway, Operation FHM (Facial Hair for Me) is finally over. after 9 weeks of a goatee, i shaved it off monday morning. so i'm back to looking 11 again. sigh.
