Wednesday, April 27, 2005
does anyone else think it's weird that alonzo mourning screams things like "aahhhh, uuhhhhh!" and then stomps around with his knees locked, pointing to his muscles when he gets a converts a layup? (check this guy's neck for blots) sure, i know zo's been through a lot, but this charade is just getting ridiculous. even the guys on the heat bench are starting to roll their eyes during his post-offensive rebound routine.
the best thing about arod's night was hearing that sheff was all over him for not swining harder last year.
sheff: quit bein a pussy! swing harder!
arod: i was trying to ground one through the first base hole.
sheff (chewing tobacco at increasing speed): or maybe you were worried about your blonde highlights running! take some reeeaaal hacks up there bitch!
arod (clearly uncomfortable): hey derek, do you think this is a good idea?
sheff (eyes bulging, personifying mr. t): hey! look me in the eye when i talk to you! i want you to try to put a hole in the leftfielder's chest! watch that fucker bleeeeed! you hearing me nancy boy?
arod: um...okay...i think i got it. (trying to get away) oh gene, wanna go double or nothing on that checkers game?
sheff: goood! next time i talk i wanna see a 2 inch stache on your upper lip too! that shit makes you look craaazy!
the best thing about arod's night was hearing that sheff was all over him for not swining harder last year.
sheff: quit bein a pussy! swing harder!
arod: i was trying to ground one through the first base hole.
sheff (chewing tobacco at increasing speed): or maybe you were worried about your blonde highlights running! take some reeeaaal hacks up there bitch!
arod (clearly uncomfortable): hey derek, do you think this is a good idea?
sheff (eyes bulging, personifying mr. t): hey! look me in the eye when i talk to you! i want you to try to put a hole in the leftfielder's chest! watch that fucker bleeeeed! you hearing me nancy boy?
arod: um...okay...i think i got it. (trying to get away) oh gene, wanna go double or nothing on that checkers game?
sheff: goood! next time i talk i wanna see a 2 inch stache on your upper lip too! that shit makes you look craaazy!
Monday, April 25, 2005
i still have some catch up posts that i may or may not get around to writing, but i feel a baseball post is in order.
first, i'd like to discuss harold reynold's "keys to a leadoff hitter" from the other nite. now i likes me the hr - i mean he does BBTN, the college world series, the little league world series - this guy just loves baseball. you get the feeling he's the type of guy that drives by a high school and stops to watch the jv squad take bp. plus he's a very spiffy dresser (though the verdict on shaving his stache is still out), and wears suits that fatty kruk, stuttering peter, and karl "kenny mayne should have my job" ravech would never even dream of donning. and if you're not gonna wear gym shorts and one of those free-for-filling-out-the-credit-card-application t-shirt's to work, you might as well go all the way. and harold does just that.
already hr's done some cool bits this year (breaking down ichiro's swing, griffey's timing woes, etc) but he did maybe the worst segment on leadoff hitters the other nite. his three keys were:
(1) stealing bases
(2) ability to handle the bat
(3) knowledge of the game
i mean, wha??? i can understand his point on #1, that base stealers get more fastballs thrown to the meat of the order. but is scott posednik's ability to get on base 30% of the time and then steal second maybe 40% of that time really better than wilkerson's .400 OBP with less steals? i don't have the analysis, and i think that's what BBTN is missing. they have 1 too many former players and 1 too few stat geeks.
so anyway, i can deal with #1. but then he goes and gives two horribly intangibles for his second and third points. i mean, really, isn't the key to every hitter in the lineup "the abiliy to handle the bat"? and how is "knowledge of the game" more helpful in the leadoff spot than anywhere else?
anyway, here's 4 things that i think are getting overlooked so far this year:
(1) jeter has 16 walks already, in 72 ab's. last year he had 46 in 643. he's playing great d too, and i think many of his defensive naysayers should acknowledge a noted improvement in the past 2 years.
(2) aaron miles is hitting .328. his OBP is .328. this guy has ZERO bases on balls in almost 20 games. he's maybe the worst leadoff hitter since alex sanchez, yet he is constantly getting high marks in the media and will definitely be on some of those "underrated guys" lists. bullshit.
(3) tim hudson. people in my fantasy league were knocking me for rating him first among NL starters. this guy is just awesome. the greatest 160 pound starter this side of pedro (and somehow he batted cleanup for auburn in college).
(4) the detroit tigers first 5 hitters, whose averages are .362, .353, .400, .317, .343 (inge, pudge, guillen, white, dmeat hook). very similar to the first five of MIT's squad circa 2000. unfortunately for detroit fans, they have the pitching depth of that Engineer's squad as well. all that's missing is for some rookie like nook logan (a la ryan whitaker) to break bonderman's (ahren's) elbow at a brandon inge pool party, and the comparisons would be uncanny. fucking whitty. i'll never forgive that incident. ever.
first, i'd like to discuss harold reynold's "keys to a leadoff hitter" from the other nite. now i likes me the hr - i mean he does BBTN, the college world series, the little league world series - this guy just loves baseball. you get the feeling he's the type of guy that drives by a high school and stops to watch the jv squad take bp. plus he's a very spiffy dresser (though the verdict on shaving his stache is still out), and wears suits that fatty kruk, stuttering peter, and karl "kenny mayne should have my job" ravech would never even dream of donning. and if you're not gonna wear gym shorts and one of those free-for-filling-out-the-credit-card-application t-shirt's to work, you might as well go all the way. and harold does just that.
already hr's done some cool bits this year (breaking down ichiro's swing, griffey's timing woes, etc) but he did maybe the worst segment on leadoff hitters the other nite. his three keys were:
(1) stealing bases
(2) ability to handle the bat
(3) knowledge of the game
i mean, wha??? i can understand his point on #1, that base stealers get more fastballs thrown to the meat of the order. but is scott posednik's ability to get on base 30% of the time and then steal second maybe 40% of that time really better than wilkerson's .400 OBP with less steals? i don't have the analysis, and i think that's what BBTN is missing. they have 1 too many former players and 1 too few stat geeks.
so anyway, i can deal with #1. but then he goes and gives two horribly intangibles for his second and third points. i mean, really, isn't the key to every hitter in the lineup "the abiliy to handle the bat"? and how is "knowledge of the game" more helpful in the leadoff spot than anywhere else?
anyway, here's 4 things that i think are getting overlooked so far this year:
(1) jeter has 16 walks already, in 72 ab's. last year he had 46 in 643. he's playing great d too, and i think many of his defensive naysayers should acknowledge a noted improvement in the past 2 years.
(2) aaron miles is hitting .328. his OBP is .328. this guy has ZERO bases on balls in almost 20 games. he's maybe the worst leadoff hitter since alex sanchez, yet he is constantly getting high marks in the media and will definitely be on some of those "underrated guys" lists. bullshit.
(3) tim hudson. people in my fantasy league were knocking me for rating him first among NL starters. this guy is just awesome. the greatest 160 pound starter this side of pedro (and somehow he batted cleanup for auburn in college).
(4) the detroit tigers first 5 hitters, whose averages are .362, .353, .400, .317, .343 (inge, pudge, guillen, white, dmeat hook). very similar to the first five of MIT's squad circa 2000. unfortunately for detroit fans, they have the pitching depth of that Engineer's squad as well. all that's missing is for some rookie like nook logan (a la ryan whitaker) to break bonderman's (ahren's) elbow at a brandon inge pool party, and the comparisons would be uncanny. fucking whitty. i'll never forgive that incident. ever.
Friday, April 22, 2005
holy shit, im back in the saddle. going more than a month without a post is a surefire way to lose all 3 of your readers. but let's hope that since (a) i'm unemployed (and thus have the time to post), and (b) drinking pitchers of margaritas on a daily basis (thus have my mind lubed like hemingway) i'll be able to get back on your good side, oh fair internets.
there's a lot to cover from the last month. we moved halfway across the country, went to a wedding in italy, i got on a baseball team before i got a job (priorities people, priorities. also, 2 words: high altitude), enjoyed that free week of mlb extra innings after opening day, tried to set up our first owned house (still not done, but the dartboard is set up, the bar is stocked, and the pantry is overflowing with beef jerky, so we're done with essentials), forgot the daylight savings switch, and had our first poker night here in abq (while "albuquerque" is a great hangman word, there's no way i'm typing it on here all the time). also, while cleaning our place in ohio to try to salvage the security deposit, we got to hear nina's grandma refer to the fireplace as "a real cocksucker." now, i really hate the all-your-stuff-is-out-now-let's-scrub-everything-with-a-toothbrush cleaning job (after 20 minutes i'm usually ready to eat the $500 deposit), but honestly, listening to oma june cuss out some metal grating on the wall made the whole thing worthwhile. hearing nina's mom accuse oma of "chomping in my ear like a goddamn pregnant rabbit" didn't hurt matters either. im not entirely sure what that means, or even if it's funny, but it provided me some relief from dusting the blinds.
the drive out here really wasn't that bad. we had two packed cars, two cats, and most importantly, two walkie talkies. we spent the first 2 hours of day one just giggling "10-4, over." we made it to st. louis for lunch, and stopped in tulsa for the night. we even went to the cherokee casino that night, home of the most mullets per square foot i've ever seen with mine own eyes. more mullets than slots, i'd say, which is a bad sign. i didn't really think the words "bad" and "casino" could ever neighbor each other, but that place blew goats. it was the first casino i've ever been in where we didn't want to gamble. still, we had enough chocolate fondue in the buffet to make it fun. all in all, day one was a success: 790 miles, 4 stops, 13 hours, only 478 cat fights.
day two, from tulsa to alq, was shorter. 650 miles, 4 stops, 10.5 hours. the highlight was lunch in groom, texas. there were 4-5 buildings in groom, not including silos, and the only place to eat was a dariy queen. it took them 20 minutes to make chili dogs and mine had that evil bitch mustard on it, but i don't think i'll ever forget groom. 90 year old earl with a mesh hat was drinking coffee as we arrived, and three honest to goodness cowboys came in as we were leaving. and given that i was wearing my no-no-no-notorious (bounce with me) baby blue adidas pants we're lucky us city slickers made it out of there alive. it was completely surreal, and i really couldn't figure out (1) how people came to settle in groom, texas, and (2) if a place like that internet access yet.
anyway, we got to our house at like 3pm, a few hours after taking next to the "welcome to new mexico" sign and jumping up and down yelling "send in more new mexicans!!!" (read the march 3rd entry there. please) it was the first time that we've ever showed up in a new place and had a place to live already. no hotels, no apartment hunt - very satisfying. and we were there for 36 hours before hoping on a flight to rome. but that's a story for another day.
im glad to be back. i missed you, bloggy mcbloggerson.
there's a lot to cover from the last month. we moved halfway across the country, went to a wedding in italy, i got on a baseball team before i got a job (priorities people, priorities. also, 2 words: high altitude), enjoyed that free week of mlb extra innings after opening day, tried to set up our first owned house (still not done, but the dartboard is set up, the bar is stocked, and the pantry is overflowing with beef jerky, so we're done with essentials), forgot the daylight savings switch, and had our first poker night here in abq (while "albuquerque" is a great hangman word, there's no way i'm typing it on here all the time). also, while cleaning our place in ohio to try to salvage the security deposit, we got to hear nina's grandma refer to the fireplace as "a real cocksucker." now, i really hate the all-your-stuff-is-out-now-let's-scrub-everything-with-a-toothbrush cleaning job (after 20 minutes i'm usually ready to eat the $500 deposit), but honestly, listening to oma june cuss out some metal grating on the wall made the whole thing worthwhile. hearing nina's mom accuse oma of "chomping in my ear like a goddamn pregnant rabbit" didn't hurt matters either. im not entirely sure what that means, or even if it's funny, but it provided me some relief from dusting the blinds.
the drive out here really wasn't that bad. we had two packed cars, two cats, and most importantly, two walkie talkies. we spent the first 2 hours of day one just giggling "10-4, over." we made it to st. louis for lunch, and stopped in tulsa for the night. we even went to the cherokee casino that night, home of the most mullets per square foot i've ever seen with mine own eyes. more mullets than slots, i'd say, which is a bad sign. i didn't really think the words "bad" and "casino" could ever neighbor each other, but that place blew goats. it was the first casino i've ever been in where we didn't want to gamble. still, we had enough chocolate fondue in the buffet to make it fun. all in all, day one was a success: 790 miles, 4 stops, 13 hours, only 478 cat fights.
day two, from tulsa to alq, was shorter. 650 miles, 4 stops, 10.5 hours. the highlight was lunch in groom, texas. there were 4-5 buildings in groom, not including silos, and the only place to eat was a dariy queen. it took them 20 minutes to make chili dogs and mine had that evil bitch mustard on it, but i don't think i'll ever forget groom. 90 year old earl with a mesh hat was drinking coffee as we arrived, and three honest to goodness cowboys came in as we were leaving. and given that i was wearing my no-no-no-notorious (bounce with me) baby blue adidas pants we're lucky us city slickers made it out of there alive. it was completely surreal, and i really couldn't figure out (1) how people came to settle in groom, texas, and (2) if a place like that internet access yet.
anyway, we got to our house at like 3pm, a few hours after taking next to the "welcome to new mexico" sign and jumping up and down yelling "send in more new mexicans!!!" (read the march 3rd entry there. please) it was the first time that we've ever showed up in a new place and had a place to live already. no hotels, no apartment hunt - very satisfying. and we were there for 36 hours before hoping on a flight to rome. but that's a story for another day.
im glad to be back. i missed you, bloggy mcbloggerson.
