Wednesday, November 30, 2005
put me in coach...i can play centerfield*
honestly, who will be the next terrible name to be thrown in the yank's cf hat? it's getting to the point that i wouldn't be surprised to hear a "yanks seek tike redman" rumor. for fuck's sake, DON'T SIGN JOEY GAITHRIGHT.
my dad told me last night the bombers are looking at jason michaels. i suppose i could live with a crosby-michaels platoon (or even a lofton-michaels platoon, which worked well in philly last year. but i don't see lofton in pinstripes again). i read that crosby had made some strides at the plate late in 05, which is why he was playing so much in september. give them both ~300 ab's and it could work. playing either one more than that, though, would be a disaster.
with that said, it's clearly not ideal (though better than pierre, gaithright, etc). but i really think moving jeter to center would be awesome. he is a phenomenal athlete, and his greatest skill as a shortstop is getting pop-ups he has no business getting. he would definitely be better in cf than arod, and then they could get a stop gap at the hot corner (nomar!) while eric duncan progresses in AA-AAA. the fact that they aren't even considering this is retarded. the common theory is that jeter would feel disrespected. but why the hell would jeter consider this a demotion? i would think he'd view it as a challenge (and maybe not even a permanent one if melky cabrera pans out). the only downside i could see him having is that playing the of is much more boring than playing short.
i've been on the "move jeter to cf" bus since the day they signed arod - who's getting on board?
*attn mit baseball alums - remember that soundtrack coach mac played everyday in the gym? what were some of the other tunes on it?
UPDATE: bob klapisch just posted an article that reiterates, um, every point i made about jeter. can i at least get a footnote? not that my argument was all that novel, but still. this piece is ridiculously similar (though longer, more well written, and lacking the expletives (what a pussy)) to the above post. also, if you stick your head close enough to the monitor, you'll know i'm done patting myself on the back now.
honestly, who will be the next terrible name to be thrown in the yank's cf hat? it's getting to the point that i wouldn't be surprised to hear a "yanks seek tike redman" rumor. for fuck's sake, DON'T SIGN JOEY GAITHRIGHT.
my dad told me last night the bombers are looking at jason michaels. i suppose i could live with a crosby-michaels platoon (or even a lofton-michaels platoon, which worked well in philly last year. but i don't see lofton in pinstripes again). i read that crosby had made some strides at the plate late in 05, which is why he was playing so much in september. give them both ~300 ab's and it could work. playing either one more than that, though, would be a disaster.
with that said, it's clearly not ideal (though better than pierre, gaithright, etc). but i really think moving jeter to center would be awesome. he is a phenomenal athlete, and his greatest skill as a shortstop is getting pop-ups he has no business getting. he would definitely be better in cf than arod, and then they could get a stop gap at the hot corner (nomar!) while eric duncan progresses in AA-AAA. the fact that they aren't even considering this is retarded. the common theory is that jeter would feel disrespected. but why the hell would jeter consider this a demotion? i would think he'd view it as a challenge (and maybe not even a permanent one if melky cabrera pans out). the only downside i could see him having is that playing the of is much more boring than playing short.
i've been on the "move jeter to cf" bus since the day they signed arod - who's getting on board?
*attn mit baseball alums - remember that soundtrack coach mac played everyday in the gym? what were some of the other tunes on it?
UPDATE: bob klapisch just posted an article that reiterates, um, every point i made about jeter. can i at least get a footnote? not that my argument was all that novel, but still. this piece is ridiculously similar (though longer, more well written, and lacking the expletives (what a pussy)) to the above post. also, if you stick your head close enough to the monitor, you'll know i'm done patting myself on the back now.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
the scroll (the scroll), the buttons (the buttons), scrollin so smooth like the butta on the muffins
i got this email earlier today:
Some of you may have noticed that our new fountain was spraying water to the point that it caused an icing of the area around the fountain. The spraying was caused by an inconsiderate person who stuffed a parking ticket into the top of the fountain, which, in turn, caused the fountain to spray instead of gently flow. In addition, the spray also caused water to settle on the float which, in turn, froze and now must be repaired.
We would ask that in the future, please do not stuff anything into the top of the fountain and if any of you might have seen this random act of vandalism, please contact the Property Management Office.
Thank you.
now that - that is good. how pissed do you have to be in order to climb up onto a constantly spewing fountain and drench yourself while stuffing a ticket into the spout?
i got this email earlier today:
Some of you may have noticed that our new fountain was spraying water to the point that it caused an icing of the area around the fountain. The spraying was caused by an inconsiderate person who stuffed a parking ticket into the top of the fountain, which, in turn, caused the fountain to spray instead of gently flow. In addition, the spray also caused water to settle on the float which, in turn, froze and now must be repaired.
We would ask that in the future, please do not stuff anything into the top of the fountain and if any of you might have seen this random act of vandalism, please contact the Property Management Office.
Thank you.
now that - that is good. how pissed do you have to be in order to climb up onto a constantly spewing fountain and drench yourself while stuffing a ticket into the spout?
Monday, November 28, 2005
three phrases i need to hear more of:
1. hanky-panky. as in "hey baby, how bout a little hanky panky?" this has become my default wife-seducing line. success varies, i might add.
2. drain the weasel. as in, "i had 4 beers then sat in traffic for 45 minutes. man did i have to drain the weasel." i've only actually known one person to ever say this, but more people need to start.
3. sand in the cooter. as in, "you beat him at darts AND drank his beer? man that's really rubbing sand in the cooter." it can also be used as a reply to a constant complainer: "geez, get the sand out of your cooter."
if you've got another good phrase, let me hear it.
1. hanky-panky. as in "hey baby, how bout a little hanky panky?" this has become my default wife-seducing line. success varies, i might add.
2. drain the weasel. as in, "i had 4 beers then sat in traffic for 45 minutes. man did i have to drain the weasel." i've only actually known one person to ever say this, but more people need to start.
3. sand in the cooter. as in, "you beat him at darts AND drank his beer? man that's really rubbing sand in the cooter." it can also be used as a reply to a constant complainer: "geez, get the sand out of your cooter."
if you've got another good phrase, let me hear it.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
5 questions
1. given that the department of education can't even solve the problems in k-12, why are they spending even one cent or minute worrying about the state of higher education? and why does the federal government want to stick it's nose in college business anyway? it's even more obvious in higher learning (public colleges) that the onus falls on the state (hence the term "state school").
2. is there anything more laughable than the fact that scott boras carries a binder for johnny damon with a section called "Better Than Future Hall of Famer Rickey Henderson"? in other cf news, i'not too pleased to see the yanks courting mark kotsay or aaron rowand. i guess if i had to choose, i'd prefer rowand, but neither can get on base. if those two are the best options, i'd rather stick matsui in center and get a cheap corner of.
3. will this grand canyon sky walk be the best feat of engineering in 2006? i heard somewhere that they plan to charge $25 a head to walk on that loop...
4. has anyone ever taken a more expensive bong hit than detroit's charles rogers? the lions are seeking to re-coup $10 million due to his 4-game suspension and substance abuse violation. ouch.
5. (this one has an answer) what's the weirdest thing we saw on our weekend trip to sedona a few weeks ago? driving back on a sunday morning, on a stretch of highway that had more than a few miles between "towns" (read: buildings), we passed a guy dragging a 15 foot tall cross down i-40. how much peoti that guy ingested before wandering the desert landscape with a huge crucifix, we'll never no. sedona, though, was probably the the most breathtaking town (vista-wise) i've ever been to. it's not a big place, and main street is just a strip of restaurants and shops, but it's entirely encompassed by gigantic red rock formations. the hiking and views made the trip completely worthwhile, but the nightlife was lacking a bit. in the one dive bar we went to, one of the locals pumped a fist and exclaimed "yes! awesome song!" when some terrible creed joint came on. at least the place had photo hunt and cheap beer.
1. given that the department of education can't even solve the problems in k-12, why are they spending even one cent or minute worrying about the state of higher education? and why does the federal government want to stick it's nose in college business anyway? it's even more obvious in higher learning (public colleges) that the onus falls on the state (hence the term "state school").
2. is there anything more laughable than the fact that scott boras carries a binder for johnny damon with a section called "Better Than Future Hall of Famer Rickey Henderson"? in other cf news, i'not too pleased to see the yanks courting mark kotsay or aaron rowand. i guess if i had to choose, i'd prefer rowand, but neither can get on base. if those two are the best options, i'd rather stick matsui in center and get a cheap corner of.
3. will this grand canyon sky walk be the best feat of engineering in 2006? i heard somewhere that they plan to charge $25 a head to walk on that loop...
4. has anyone ever taken a more expensive bong hit than detroit's charles rogers? the lions are seeking to re-coup $10 million due to his 4-game suspension and substance abuse violation. ouch.
5. (this one has an answer) what's the weirdest thing we saw on our weekend trip to sedona a few weeks ago? driving back on a sunday morning, on a stretch of highway that had more than a few miles between "towns" (read: buildings), we passed a guy dragging a 15 foot tall cross down i-40. how much peoti that guy ingested before wandering the desert landscape with a huge crucifix, we'll never no. sedona, though, was probably the the most breathtaking town (vista-wise) i've ever been to. it's not a big place, and main street is just a strip of restaurants and shops, but it's entirely encompassed by gigantic red rock formations. the hiking and views made the trip completely worthwhile, but the nightlife was lacking a bit. in the one dive bar we went to, one of the locals pumped a fist and exclaimed "yes! awesome song!" when some terrible creed joint came on. at least the place had photo hunt and cheap beer.
Monday, November 21, 2005
lost in translation
so seattle signed the japanese catcher that a few teams were ga-ga over. it's not surprising, especially given the crop of available catchers (see roy's indepth analysis here).
i've read repeatedly that multiple teams were scared by the fact that he speaks no english, since catchers have to do a lot of communicating with pitchers. are you kidding me? that's their biggest concern?
first, you'd think teams would be very concerned with the fact that he will have absolutely no internal database (memory, notes, whatever) on hitters. this means he will have to study hitters a lot more than most catchers. i admit no rookie has this, but you don't pay rookies $5.5 mil/year. also, since every other catcher in the majors came up through the minors they will probably have at least seen a bunch of guys who were in the minors at the same time. this guy is starting completely from scratch. and never mind that he will have to adjust to an entirely new set and style of pitchers (the sort of things that have made a bust of kaz matsui, shinjo, taguchi, and the 3 bagger in la (nagasaki?)) while playing a position that will generally sacrifice offensive preparation for defensive. these are the major concerns, no?
i don't even think the language barrier should be a big deal at all. really, if you're about to sign a multi-million dollar contract don't you think you could get yourself a friggin tutor? i mean the guy has ~3 months til he reports - can't learning english be a top priority? i can't believe this was their biggest fear, given the points i made above combined with the hounding japanese press and culture shock he will face. if the m's were smart they would've put a clause in that requires him to take english classes this winter. if he reports to spring training with no understanding of english, they'll be playing pat borders by may.
in closing and unrelated, i love that miller lite commercial with flava-flav and the lawyer in jeans. funny stuff.
so seattle signed the japanese catcher that a few teams were ga-ga over. it's not surprising, especially given the crop of available catchers (see roy's indepth analysis here).
i've read repeatedly that multiple teams were scared by the fact that he speaks no english, since catchers have to do a lot of communicating with pitchers. are you kidding me? that's their biggest concern?
first, you'd think teams would be very concerned with the fact that he will have absolutely no internal database (memory, notes, whatever) on hitters. this means he will have to study hitters a lot more than most catchers. i admit no rookie has this, but you don't pay rookies $5.5 mil/year. also, since every other catcher in the majors came up through the minors they will probably have at least seen a bunch of guys who were in the minors at the same time. this guy is starting completely from scratch. and never mind that he will have to adjust to an entirely new set and style of pitchers (the sort of things that have made a bust of kaz matsui, shinjo, taguchi, and the 3 bagger in la (nagasaki?)) while playing a position that will generally sacrifice offensive preparation for defensive. these are the major concerns, no?
i don't even think the language barrier should be a big deal at all. really, if you're about to sign a multi-million dollar contract don't you think you could get yourself a friggin tutor? i mean the guy has ~3 months til he reports - can't learning english be a top priority? i can't believe this was their biggest fear, given the points i made above combined with the hounding japanese press and culture shock he will face. if the m's were smart they would've put a clause in that requires him to take english classes this winter. if he reports to spring training with no understanding of english, they'll be playing pat borders by may.
in closing and unrelated, i love that miller lite commercial with flava-flav and the lawyer in jeans. funny stuff.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
i just realized......
that james lipton looks like patches o'houlihan. unfortunately, though, i don't think when lipton sees some terrible acting he says it's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob.
that james lipton looks like patches o'houlihan. unfortunately, though, i don't think when lipton sees some terrible acting he says it's like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a doorknob.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
hmmmm
in today's sport's guy column about the fiasco larry brown and the knicks are in, he utters this:
"You never think of New York as a basketball city, but that's what it is. No sports team in the past 35 years meant more to New York than those Bradley-Frazier teams."
wha??? admittedly i wasn't alive during that era, but what about that certain '96-01 dynasty?
in today's sport's guy column about the fiasco larry brown and the knicks are in, he utters this:
"You never think of New York as a basketball city, but that's what it is. No sports team in the past 35 years meant more to New York than those Bradley-Frazier teams."
wha??? admittedly i wasn't alive during that era, but what about that certain '96-01 dynasty?
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
some links
i didn't know a country could sue a person, but that's what kazakhstan is doing to ali g. i'm sure trey parker and matt stone are now fearing a lawsuit from the entire continent of asia.
i don't know the last time a "professional" has gone 3-11 with his weekly picks, but that is indeed what happened to the sports guy this past weekend. ouch.
i wonder what percentage of american males are fit by army ranger standards.
i'm glad to see that arod (who contrary to popular belief produced in "clutch" situations: .418 obp, .938 ops in close and late) and fat albert won the mvp's, but did you see some of the voting at the bottom of the nl and al polls? three of the biggest mysteries: (1) jimmy rollins garnering more points than jason bay and twice as many points as teammate chase utley, (2) david eckstein gathering more points than roger clemens and roy oswalt COMBINED, and (3) scott podseknik finishing 12th in the balloting. a guy who plays a corner outfield position and hit exactly ZERO homeruns this year is considered to be among the dozen most valuable players in the american league. really?
i didn't know a country could sue a person, but that's what kazakhstan is doing to ali g. i'm sure trey parker and matt stone are now fearing a lawsuit from the entire continent of asia.
i don't know the last time a "professional" has gone 3-11 with his weekly picks, but that is indeed what happened to the sports guy this past weekend. ouch.
i wonder what percentage of american males are fit by army ranger standards.
i'm glad to see that arod (who contrary to popular belief produced in "clutch" situations: .418 obp, .938 ops in close and late) and fat albert won the mvp's, but did you see some of the voting at the bottom of the nl and al polls? three of the biggest mysteries: (1) jimmy rollins garnering more points than jason bay and twice as many points as teammate chase utley, (2) david eckstein gathering more points than roger clemens and roy oswalt COMBINED, and (3) scott podseknik finishing 12th in the balloting. a guy who plays a corner outfield position and hit exactly ZERO homeruns this year is considered to be among the dozen most valuable players in the american league. really?
Thursday, November 10, 2005
the nba's got nuttin on this mutten!
so the nba is back. yippee! last week or whenever the season started i had no idea the preseason was even over. just like my (so far successful) attempt to follow the nfl more closely this season, i think i'll do the same with the nba. i don't think it'll happen, and by december i'll probably skip over a suns-magic game in favor of gillmore girls reruns (i love that lorelei), but i guess it's worth a shot. part of the reason that i've grown to more or less think pro basketball sucks is that my favorite team is the golden state warriors. it's hard to root for a team that (a) you can never watch, and (b)hasn't been even remotely good since the run tmc days. alas, where have you gone chris mullin? (oh yeah, you're the gm and sign players like mike dunleavy to terrible contracts.)
anyway, the other reason my interest in the nba has waned is because (shocker!) the games are unbelievably boring. unlike every other major and minor sport (baseball, football, hockey, soccer), in which the scoring could but isn't guaranteed to happen at any time and so watching a complete game is warranted, there's no point for a casual fan to watch the first 3+ quarters of any regular season nba game. i mean, you know exactly what's going to happen - both teams are going to score. a lot. sure you may miss one or two spectacular plays, but to see any excitement all you need to do is tune in early in the 4th quarter. if the game is a blowout, well, there was no point watching any of the game. if it's close, well then you saved yourself an hour and half of constant scoring and you can watch crunch time. anyway, i've read that the nfl has set up a "red zone channel" as part of some viewing package. i think this is a pretty good idea (not that i would pay for it), but the nba should do the same thing with a "4th quarter channel". not that i would pay extra for this either, but i bet real nba fans would dig it.
also on the nba front, when i saw that the sports guy was exchanging emails with mark cuban, i was super excited (like seeing elisha cuthbert undress in the girl next door - underrated movie, no?). but it turned out to be just really bad (like seeing william macy's balls in the cooler). i really like the curious guy thing and all, but this one was awful.
so the nba is back. yippee! last week or whenever the season started i had no idea the preseason was even over. just like my (so far successful) attempt to follow the nfl more closely this season, i think i'll do the same with the nba. i don't think it'll happen, and by december i'll probably skip over a suns-magic game in favor of gillmore girls reruns (i love that lorelei), but i guess it's worth a shot. part of the reason that i've grown to more or less think pro basketball sucks is that my favorite team is the golden state warriors. it's hard to root for a team that (a) you can never watch, and (b)hasn't been even remotely good since the run tmc days. alas, where have you gone chris mullin? (oh yeah, you're the gm and sign players like mike dunleavy to terrible contracts.)
anyway, the other reason my interest in the nba has waned is because (shocker!) the games are unbelievably boring. unlike every other major and minor sport (baseball, football, hockey, soccer), in which the scoring could but isn't guaranteed to happen at any time and so watching a complete game is warranted, there's no point for a casual fan to watch the first 3+ quarters of any regular season nba game. i mean, you know exactly what's going to happen - both teams are going to score. a lot. sure you may miss one or two spectacular plays, but to see any excitement all you need to do is tune in early in the 4th quarter. if the game is a blowout, well, there was no point watching any of the game. if it's close, well then you saved yourself an hour and half of constant scoring and you can watch crunch time. anyway, i've read that the nfl has set up a "red zone channel" as part of some viewing package. i think this is a pretty good idea (not that i would pay for it), but the nba should do the same thing with a "4th quarter channel". not that i would pay extra for this either, but i bet real nba fans would dig it.
also on the nba front, when i saw that the sports guy was exchanging emails with mark cuban, i was super excited (like seeing elisha cuthbert undress in the girl next door - underrated movie, no?). but it turned out to be just really bad (like seeing william macy's balls in the cooler). i really like the curious guy thing and all, but this one was awful.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
leisurely offseason
most mlb-ers like to take it easy for the first few weeks of the offseason - maybe a little beach vacation, some hunting or fishing, a few rounds of golf. well, thanks to uggie urbina, we can now add trying to hack apart your employees and light them on fire. geez. this guy's starting to catch up to raul mondesi in the off-field distraction department.
most mlb-ers like to take it easy for the first few weeks of the offseason - maybe a little beach vacation, some hunting or fishing, a few rounds of golf. well, thanks to uggie urbina, we can now add trying to hack apart your employees and light them on fire. geez. this guy's starting to catch up to raul mondesi in the off-field distraction department.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
sorry my ass
short time yankee matt lawton was suspended for steroid use today. this is not exactly like raffy testing positive or anything, but i think this quote from lawton is hilarious:
"I made a terrible and foolish mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life...I take full responsibility for my actions and did not appeal my suspension. I apologize to the fans, the game, my family and all those people that I let down. I am truly sorry and deeply regret my terrible lapse in judgment."
um, what? your family should be so unbelievably grateful that you sipped that juice. you are a marginally above average corner outfielder who gets on base at a good clip but has below average pop (see his numbers and a shit eatin grin here). those roids helped you hit 20 jacks a few times and make almost $8 million last year. you took a risk and i'd say it paid off, quite literally. even if your balls fall off or something, your family is set for life. plus, now all you have to do is have a shitty first month of 2006 with whoever's willing to sign you, rebound with a great june-september and you'll be comeback player of the year.
on a more general note, i'm tired of hearing the standard "apologies" after testing positive. i know it's just a PR thing, but they're actually insulting and incredibly disingenuous. this apology is only coming because you got caught. shut your pie hole. if your roid use was really killing your conscience, you'd of pulled an albert castillo (go cats!) and fessed up on your own without the test. just once i'd love to hear a rich aurilia type come out a say "yeah, i had a shot to make put together one great year, and i got paid enough that everyone in the next two generations of my family will be finacially taken care of."
short time yankee matt lawton was suspended for steroid use today. this is not exactly like raffy testing positive or anything, but i think this quote from lawton is hilarious:
"I made a terrible and foolish mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life...I take full responsibility for my actions and did not appeal my suspension. I apologize to the fans, the game, my family and all those people that I let down. I am truly sorry and deeply regret my terrible lapse in judgment."
um, what? your family should be so unbelievably grateful that you sipped that juice. you are a marginally above average corner outfielder who gets on base at a good clip but has below average pop (see his numbers and a shit eatin grin here). those roids helped you hit 20 jacks a few times and make almost $8 million last year. you took a risk and i'd say it paid off, quite literally. even if your balls fall off or something, your family is set for life. plus, now all you have to do is have a shitty first month of 2006 with whoever's willing to sign you, rebound with a great june-september and you'll be comeback player of the year.
on a more general note, i'm tired of hearing the standard "apologies" after testing positive. i know it's just a PR thing, but they're actually insulting and incredibly disingenuous. this apology is only coming because you got caught. shut your pie hole. if your roid use was really killing your conscience, you'd of pulled an albert castillo (go cats!) and fessed up on your own without the test. just once i'd love to hear a rich aurilia type come out a say "yeah, i had a shot to make put together one great year, and i got paid enough that everyone in the next two generations of my family will be finacially taken care of."
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
like night and day, literally
last halloween nina and i helped plan and attended the craziest party we've been to since college - three floors of decadence, a liquor luge that all but destroyed the floor of the upstairs/ceiling of the main level, rick james' thunderbird parked on the lawn, unbelievable costumes, nina throwing up in a bird bath, party-goers leaping into the bushes from the porch just for fun, the guy in the johnny knoxville costume pulling the "i'm johnny knoxville, and this is me trying to make out with these two chicks at the same time" routine on unexpecting guests. the list could go on and on.
this year, though, we went to the most grown up party (halloween or otherwise) we've ever attended. i still had a fantastic time, but the differences were startling. first off, this year's event started at 2pm and was a harry potter themed thing. people just don't go nuts when it's daylight and/or you're celebrating a children's book. next, there were babies present. call me crazy, but people with newborns are not going to be throwing themselves into shrubbery from varying heights just for kicks. third, most people weren't in costume. we were, of course: i was carl spackler, nina was the hamburglar, and our friend kyle was knight rider. these were the best costumes there, but this may or may not be because they were the only non-witch/wizard costumes there.
lastly, as opposed to last year where the only coordinated events were beer bong and irish car bombs every hour on the hour, this shindig was run like clockwork. there were events, challenges, and prizes. and i had fun damnit. don't you judge me just because i was happy to win a prize for being the first to chug wine from a goblet AND finish a soduko in the alloted time frame. clearly this is a sign that (a) i'm a dork, and (b) we're getting older, but either way when we left at ~6pm i thought we were leaving an ideal pre-game. there was a lot of booze there, and i'm not one to care if i make up 20% of the guests trying to get loaded. i had a much better time than expected, and our little entourage was slightly tuned and ready for the 2nd half to begin.
unfortunately, we didn't even make it to the 3rd quarter. the drive back to town (like an hour) put a damper on things, and then the evening party on the agenda was much tamer than expected. in hindsight this was probably because it was only 7:30pm to all these party people, but it felt much later to us. hence, we rolled. nina and i were out cold by 9:30pm.
so, this halloween was still fun, but very different than last year's. i'm going to throw the guantlet at kyle here, and challenge him to repeat 'ween 04 in 2006. i don't know if it can be done, but at least he's got kit to help him.
and in conclusion, we spent sunday morning carving trogdor and the cheat into pumpkins.
the end.
last halloween nina and i helped plan and attended the craziest party we've been to since college - three floors of decadence, a liquor luge that all but destroyed the floor of the upstairs/ceiling of the main level, rick james' thunderbird parked on the lawn, unbelievable costumes, nina throwing up in a bird bath, party-goers leaping into the bushes from the porch just for fun, the guy in the johnny knoxville costume pulling the "i'm johnny knoxville, and this is me trying to make out with these two chicks at the same time" routine on unexpecting guests. the list could go on and on.
this year, though, we went to the most grown up party (halloween or otherwise) we've ever attended. i still had a fantastic time, but the differences were startling. first off, this year's event started at 2pm and was a harry potter themed thing. people just don't go nuts when it's daylight and/or you're celebrating a children's book. next, there were babies present. call me crazy, but people with newborns are not going to be throwing themselves into shrubbery from varying heights just for kicks. third, most people weren't in costume. we were, of course: i was carl spackler, nina was the hamburglar, and our friend kyle was knight rider. these were the best costumes there, but this may or may not be because they were the only non-witch/wizard costumes there.
lastly, as opposed to last year where the only coordinated events were beer bong and irish car bombs every hour on the hour, this shindig was run like clockwork. there were events, challenges, and prizes. and i had fun damnit. don't you judge me just because i was happy to win a prize for being the first to chug wine from a goblet AND finish a soduko in the alloted time frame. clearly this is a sign that (a) i'm a dork, and (b) we're getting older, but either way when we left at ~6pm i thought we were leaving an ideal pre-game. there was a lot of booze there, and i'm not one to care if i make up 20% of the guests trying to get loaded. i had a much better time than expected, and our little entourage was slightly tuned and ready for the 2nd half to begin.
unfortunately, we didn't even make it to the 3rd quarter. the drive back to town (like an hour) put a damper on things, and then the evening party on the agenda was much tamer than expected. in hindsight this was probably because it was only 7:30pm to all these party people, but it felt much later to us. hence, we rolled. nina and i were out cold by 9:30pm.
so, this halloween was still fun, but very different than last year's. i'm going to throw the guantlet at kyle here, and challenge him to repeat 'ween 04 in 2006. i don't know if it can be done, but at least he's got kit to help him.
and in conclusion, we spent sunday morning carving trogdor and the cheat into pumpkins.
the end.
